Husband feels numb and emotionless

Hi all, my husband has expressed that he feels numb and feels no emotional attachment to anything especially me. Contemplating whether he wants the relationship but feels very confused. Our baby is 5 months old. Has anyone else experienced this?

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Is he interested in individual therapy? So he can work through this himself.

he currently doesn’t want to see a professional for help

Well then unfortunately… if he doesn’t want to do the work to get better… you might have to consider making plans to leave. Cuz your baby doesn’t need someone who feels numb and emotionless… that’s not fair to you or the baby. It would be one thing if he wanted to get professional help it’s another that he doesn’t. And people who feel numb can be dangerous. Not because he’s dangerous per se- it’s more I would be concerned with leaving the baby alone with him cuz he might be negligent if the baby needs something. Or if there is an emergency he might not respond in the safest way.

It sounds like he might have depression. There’s lots of research showing that non-birthing parents can also get postpartum depression, so it might be worth looking into. Resisting help is also common when it comes to depression.

Does he have anyone else he can talk to about it besides you? Might be good for him to have someone a little more removed to chat to, even if it’s not a professional at this stage.

he has spoke to his mum but I’m not convinced that has helped much to be honest. He has told me that if he isn’t able to sort himself out within a month then he will let me get a professional whether that’s HV or GP. I think he’s currently hoping he can sort his head out himself but he’s being very hurtful in the process. He says he feels like a bad person for having a baby then resenting me a few months later and being unsure on the relationship

My partner was quite similar, he had a few days break to think about things and came back like a whole different person. He’s getting help (that he wants to get not just because I said he should get it!) for lots of different reasons. He’s more emotionally invested in me and our daughter. He has truly turned himself around and shown that he didn’t mean what he said before he left he was just struggling pretty bad and took it out on me when really I’m all he needed. He realised this all (and more) when he had a few days break. Obviously I don’t know your situation but maybe a little break for him to think about things could help? It’s hard looking after a baby full time but it could be worth it if he ends up wanting help and becoming a better partner and father?

I went though a similar situation and I would personally say it’s PPD. It also lead the relationship into a dark turn. We are currently rebuilding and it’s been pretty much perfect but I would definitely say to have space

Also what is the reason why he got there

Sounds like he might have postnatal depression. It might not be you sounds like he’s struggling mentally. Stick with him urge him to get some help and go from there

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️