Should I Let him sleep? Advice Please

Hello Ivy, You’ve just gone through so much — giving birth, the trauma, and now caring for a newborn on such little sleep. It’s completely normal to feel like this, and you deserve rest as you are currently healing, I felt the same too when I had mine , if you could try shift parenting so you can also get some rest, when it’s your turn to sleep make everything available (most importantly feeding) so you don’t get disturb when it’s your turn to rest.
Prioritize healing and communicate clearly with your husband and explain you also needs to heal as you just had a baby , and if there is help outside from family or friends (if you don’t mind) it will be great also.
You don’t need to feel guilty, recovery is very important

Do you manage to sleep at least when your little one sleeps?

What me and my husband did the first months and still do sometimes is we split into 2 shifts. He puts our daughter to sleep around 9pm and sleeps next to her until she wakes up for a feed. I sleep in a separate room so I get a bit of uninterrupted sleep. Then when she wakes, around 12-2am, I feed her and then sleep with her and he goes to a separate room to sleep until morning. If she would be fussy and I didn't manage to sleep enough until morning (on weekends) he would take care of her while I sleep an extra hour or 2.

In general he has been sleeping much better than me as the months passed, as I wake each time baby is hungry etc, but he always make sure I am not very tired the next day. Comes earlier from work to help, or even doesn't go to work if we had a very tough night.

I think the most important thing is to communicate and explain you need more sleep, especially now that you are healing.

Those early weeks and months are so hard- especially when you are healing.

Do you have a friend or family member who can come help too? Take a shift for a few hours so you can rest more? My mom stayed with us for the first month so she would sleep where she got 7-8 hrs after the 6am feed we passed baby off to her and I slept for 5 hrs only waking to nurse when she brought him to me. I would also sleep every time he was (if I needed to). My husband couldn’t sleep through baby waking so he was waking every time too and helping through the night.

I wouldn’t let him sleep 😂

My husband and I are a team. We did everything together (still do).

I am a parent. He is a parent. I don’t see why one would be any different than the other (I do breastfeed but the baby doesn’t need milk every single time so I don’t use that as an excuse).

Why should you suffer more than him?

That’s just how we function as a couple.

You guys should have a conversation about it and find a compromise that both of you can live with.

I'm so sorry 😞 we gave birth August 18th & my husband had 2 weeks home with me he goes back Tuesday so I feel you because lord these nights are crazy. We just broke up our nights into shifts. So my husband does 10pm feed, I go to bed now so I sleep 4 hours then I do the 1am feed, sleep again & wake at 5am feed & sleep again until 7am alarm so I'm not missing the day/ we have a 5 year old starting kindergarten. Idk if you're EBF or Formula but I've found microwaving a mug of water for 2 minutes (I'm pumping & formula) then put the bottle in for 5 minutes & it's warm/ perfect

But you can also do Luke warm/ room temp from fridge if baby will drink it.. mine is very boujee 2nd born lol. Then my first was ebf & very exhausted all the time bc my husband at that time only had 5 days home with us. But this time around has really helped. I'm about to pass out, I'll get 4.5 hours of sleep, feed, sleep for 3 to 4 bc of formula supplement & 5am I'll pump hands free feed & sleep

It kind of depends, everyone is different. I had a similar dilemma but I was exclusively breastfeeding so my husband couldn't do much for us at night anyway since baby was only waking up to feed. I found it more helpful when he got the sleep at night so he can be more helpful around the house, like cooking or cleaning or tending to the pets. So we compromised that I did the night shifts and napped during the day while my husband fed us and took care of house chores.

Eventually I also had a few times I'd ask my husband to put baby to sleep after I'd feed her whenever she was going through regression. Because there'd be times I'd have to feed her every 30 mins, so between feeding and then trying to get her to fall asleep I would never be able to get any sleep even for 30 mins.

I also had to have blood transfusion and had severe pain in the first few weeks from tearing. It's difficult and it sucks but this time will go by fast. I'm sorry I know it stinks. But it goes by quick.

Also I would have my husband take the baby first thing in the morning so let's say between 6am and 8am and I'd try to sleep for those 2 hrs. Sometimes if I got lucky and baby was sleeping I'd sleep for 3 hrs.

I've always found it easier to deal with the night time as I've breastfed. But in the early weeks my partner would care for baby during the evening/ morning so I can get extra sleep to catch up. Or I nap with baby in the day. I've seen in the comments that you aren't sleeping during the night because of baby wanting to be close to you which is unsustainable, I'm sure you must be exhausted. My babies have not wanted to sleep in their own cribs, particularly my second baby, so I've followed safe cosleeping guidance so I can get some sleep at night.

We always did it together. Both went to bed early at like 8pm to begin with as bubs would have a feed and we were like okay, let’s go to bed as he could be asleep now for at least 3 hrs. 😆

Both got up in the night. Hubby did nappy changes and I fed him, but he still stayed up to support me. Then we both went back to sleep once bubs was back in his bed. As he got older and didn’t need changes in the night I would still feed him but my partner would usually wake anyway from his crying. Then once he went back to work at 6weeks I told him not to feel like he had to wake when I was feeding him.

The first 2 weeks are the toughest. Myself and my husband done it in turns. We’d give each other say 2-3 hours sleep each then switch over. We then got ourselves into more of a routine after the 2 weeks x