Husband is an avoidant.

I am an anxious. But I have definitely worked on a lot of communication and learned a lot from my past relationships and my current one as well. I’m not saying I’m perfect but how can I steer him to learning without making him defensive about it leading to another cycle of avoidance it’s so difficult.
It’s to the point of the relationship where if I don’t put in effort he doesn’t notice and everything is fine to him but I’m the one suffering. And if I bring it up it’s the cycle over again.
Any advice on how to save this. Please no negativity.

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The first thing that comes to mine is or the questions that I asked myself is wondering on both of you guys background how he was raised how you were raised. We as individuals are the way that we are based on our experiences in life based on how our parents raised us based on what we were exposed to, and so I think if you can kind of understand where he’s coming from and why he is the way he is it’ll help you to have these conversations with him in a way that he could listen to you with you getting what you need and then he can get what he needs from you and sharing whatever information you need to share with him. I hope this makes sense. I spoke this out and it just typed everything that I said so hopefully this makes sense.

I’m an anxious and my partner is an avoidant as well. You have to find the balance and sometimes initiate things too. Unfortunately you both have to
Do Your own healing and you can’t force him to
Fix himself but you can start working on you. Start small and make small suggestions of what you need during a tough situation or when you may need communication etc. you may also have to know when to give him his space as well .

Yeah I’ve gone through this too. The hard truth is that being too dependent on him isn’t healthy. You have to find things to do yourself or get a few hobbies, have more you time. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, you just can’t put too much pressure on someone like this or they will put their walls up. Put that energy into yourself! It helps me to go on solo outings to target or Walmart, focus on self care, and I also got a dog lol

in our community

16 month old and 12 weeks pregnant

I am 4’10 and as the title states 12 weeks pregnant. My son will be 23 months old when his sibling is born. I recently moved from FL to MI so my son could grow up around in laws, but that doesn’t mean I have my village. ❤️‍🩹 We were planning to buy a larger home next year but the surprise baby (I was told I’d not be able to conceive again after a botched c-section) we likely won’t be moving until the following year into a bigger home. Does anyone have advice or has been through having 2 under 2 and still wanting to get back into college online as well as managing a small home with very limited yard space? We had planned so well and ended up being hit 70mph head on in the middle of a custody case for my nephew and my identity being stolen in the six figures. We fell pretty hard and picking up the pieces. It feels like Groundhog Day everyday, especially not knowing people or having my own village. My husbands’ family has a strong mentality of only blood is family so I am just an outsider living 1000 miles away from anyone I know, home alone 6x a week and feeling defeated and scared about baby on the way. I felt like I was just getting back to feeling like me before pregnancy began. Did anyone else lose their sense of self, identity, other than being a mom, once becoming a mother?

Worried a little bit, did this happen to anyone else

I was out today with my daughter in her pram, well we were walking under some trees to a cafe literally seconds away, well we got there and I saw something on my daughters hand, I took her hand to know what was on it and realised, I quickly held her hand and wiped it down with baby wipes, while full on having an argument with my husband because he couldn't hear in the busy cafe what was going on, it was just a little bit on her hand, it was mainly on the side of her pram, inside and her blanket, which I quickly removed, I grabbed my daughter and whisked her to the loos and did a full wash of her hands and full explore of her mouth and lips to see if he put them in, I found nothing and I checked, I refused to put her in her pram for the rest of the day, I used the baby carrier, I got some anti bac spray for the pram and as soon as I back at out rented holiday cottage I took the insert and anything else that can be washed out the pram to wash in the washing machine, I have done it correctly, I am still thinking about it

Help

My son is 18 months and he does not eat pieces of anything he still has pures and little pasta and some lumpy pieces but he will not eat a big piece/chunk unless it’s something that I am having. If I try to give him pieces of fruit/vegetables he will end up just playing with it rather than eating it. I don’t know what to do.

Should partners pay 50/50 on everything if they both do half of housework and childcare, but one of them earns more?

As topic.
Should they pay 50/50 on mortgage and all the other bills? Or the one earns more should pays more? Or it's not a should , but it'd be nice the one earns more pays more?

Screen time help

I’m kind of new to this stay at home mom thing. We have recently done a huge move from Canada to the United States. Previously I had my son who is non verbal autistic, enrolled in preschool and day care, so he was kept busy most of the day.
With the move, I am unable to work with the visa I’m on but also decided it was probably best to stay home with my boys. We live in Nevada, and I haven’t heard the greatest things about the school system here, especially for non verbal kiddos.
My problem now is we spend way too much time watching tv. It’s really hot here in the afternoons so I don’t love spending too much time outside. We try and hit that in the mornings.
I also have a 1 year old, so I like to be home in the afternoon so he can have a nap.
It’s also not as easy as “just play with your kid” well I wish I could, but it’s really hard to get engagement from him. I also have adhd, and since there’s no feedback loop of interaction, I get very easily bored. So I feel like an awful parent on my phone all the time.
Looking for advice, maybe help with a routine.

In law involvement

Hi All. Please can I get a general consensus of how often inlaws (mother, father, brother and sister) who all live nearby to you see your kids and if they give any practical help at all?