To much

Sorry for the long post but just need to vent🥲

I feel like the issues with my in laws have just ripped me and my husband apart to the point of no return. I’m so depressed and unhappy with things rn. He’s never once made them be accountable or apologize but forces me to that do when half of the issue is their actions. I’ve held myself accountable and apologized but all I’ve gotten from them and playing dumb and refusing to own up to their actions. I don’t want them in my son’s life if they can’t respect me or respect me as a mother. He lets his mom walk around like she’s my son mom and only listens to her about what’s best for OUR child it feels. We were with them this weekend and I told him not to give our son nuts that he’s never had before- of course my husband is playing around and gives them to my son multiple times are I say no and to please stop. But the second his mom steps in and says you need to stop he listens like wtf. She has to place to be doing that first off and then for my husband to immediately listen to her just made it worse. Then the whole night she’s telling me how he’s hungry and he needs food and I need to give him this and that to eat. Oh my god it’s irritating. We got into it today because I said he’s never held them accountable and just lets them walk all over us. I’m genuinely so unhappy with this dynamic of things. I love my husband very much and I don’t want to leave him but his family is just too much for me. And for him to ask me to just be fake around them is something I’m not willing to do anymore. I’ve been through a lot in childhood and dealt with my own father being exactly how his mom is to me my whole life. I’m over it

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Sending big hugs! Completely understand how you feel. My MIL is the same with my LG. Could you not sit down with your OH and tell him how you feel and how it is etc. you both need to be on the same page and set boundaries. I know it’s hard but he has to learn to stand up to them. Otherwise it’s the same drama and cycle over and over. X

That sounds so horrible and relatable! What does he say if you point out to him that he ignores you and only responds to his mum? My husband and I went through something like this and kind of realised together that we have to be our own family first, and still respect grandparents etc but that our core family comes first. Maybe you could talk about it in those terms?

The comments on what your kid needs is so annoying! People make comments like that so much that it must be some kind of natural reflex when you’re near a baby. Do you have the relationship with her that you could say ‘when you say XYZ, it sounds like you’re correcting my parenting so I’m reacting badly to it’. And then you’ll find out if she’s being annoying by accident or on purpose 😅

Oh wow that is so much worse than I understood! It sounds like no contact was a good idea. Maybe the three of you could try going no contact until you’ve worked it out as a family and then start seeing his mum again? Or go back to no contact… what if your little baby grows up and sees how him and his mum treats you? Oh I’m sorry, that’s so horrible. Big hugs

Oh sorry I didn’t see your reply! That’s a pretty awful guilt trip. Maybe when your SIL’s son makes it through (which I’m assuming he did 🙏) maybe you can suggest taking another break.

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️

Are these men ok?

I get so sad seeing all the posts on here daily about women dealing with partners who are treating them horribly. I know it seems over represented because those of us with great partners don’t need to write posts asking for help, but I really hope most of us don’t have these kinds of men in our lives!

I tell my husband about these posts I see sometimes and he’s even shocked by some of the things these guys say/do.

Nobody’s perfect, and every relationship takes work. And becoming parents is a stress test unlike any other for sure, but seeing how many women get stuck in these relationships with men who aren’t interested in being better is so so sad😞

But is/was your partner helpful, loving, and supportive during your pregnancy/PP/etc? Was he a wonderful person but changed for the worst after becoming a parent? Has he put effort into becoming the partner you need him to be, even if he struggles?