Boyfriend downgrading me to others

I found out that he was saying horrible sh*t about me on how I am so lazy that I dont do anything. Even when he tells me i know your busy and work alot.. he turned around and said That he has to feed the kids because I just get home and sleep. That I dont clean or cook and that I treat him like a dog. When in reality, I have 2 jobs 1 full time and the other making a new business for myself to get off the ground and attending college for my bachelor's degree. I get home i am tired but I do not fall asleep as he claims. I still have to make dinner because he doesn't, he doesn't look in the fridge to check what to make. He sleeps all day and when its an hour before her goes to work he says I dont have time to make food so I didnt make anything. He doesn't work overnight, only an 8 hrs shift like 2-10. He says i order him around but yet doesn't take the initiative to do it on his own. I help the kids with their schoolwork and when I ask him to sit with the kids he says im not their teacher. 🙄 thats not the point, they just need guidance. My room has been messy lately as I have been trying to declutter but I never have time with the other responsibilities I do with work,kids and food. So its been messy longer than what I wanted. And there are times I need to relax just eat dinner with my kids and watch a movie with them to spend time. I've mention this multiple times to him and he becomes defensive. But yet says all those horrible lies like I am a lazy mom who treats him badly. So I am completely offended and hurt that he would say that. What should or could I do. I want to confront him but a way that he can understand and not become argumentative. How should I approach this.

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You could always get a big white erase board and some markers and make a chore chart and that'll show within a week who's doing chores or not, encourage him to pick chore days or try to talk and say since you guys seem to feel the same way about another to work together and fix things and set 1 day a week aside to deep clean and if y'all can't do either of those, y'all might need to reconsider your relationship since neither of y'all sound happy and barely content with another and the situation you're in.

I don’t have advice, but I do know that your husband should be your biggest cheerleader. Mine has never once talked shit about me and everyone tells me how highly he talks about me. Regardless of what you’re going through, absolutely no one needs to know that. It’s your business and yours alone. If he really felt that way, he should be talking to YOU about I and you only.

have a sit down first. your partner should never down talk you to anyone. y’all are a unit. w that being said , we don’t want to turn this into a you vs. him thing bc that’s how he’ll get defensive. acknowledge that you understand he works & it’s an unfavorable time frame amongst some workers since 2nd shift takes up the rest of the day. once you acknowledge that , tell him that you work as well & that in order for you guys to continue to work effectively as a unit y’all have to work together & not against. let him know that you guys can make a chart for chores that needs to be done in the morning & chores that needs to be done in the afternoon/evening. let him know that both of you work so both of you are equally tired , but both of you are the only adults so you guys have to really work together for the house to run smoothly

having a chore chart in the house helps hold both of you accountable. some things are daily tasks , some aren’t. you can categorize it how you see fit but i do think you should split it into morning/afternoon/evening chores. the afternoon chores can be the thing(s) that may take 2. like the decluttering or laundry ! he could make sure dishes are washed before he leaves for work so you have a fresh slate , he’s in charge of breakfast & lunch , straightening up bedrooms & when you guys switch , you could collect trash to be taken out , snack & dinner duty , nighttime home cleanup , bedtime routine for kids. this is just an example , but maybe it’ll work out for you guys

There’s a guy at my husband job that talks like this about his gf(calls her his wife tho), and being the primary parent, it’s very hard to believe what they say, you’re doing more work than him, 2 jobs AND your schooling? And he’s b*tching about 8 hrs.. that’s a boy who wanted a gf, not a partner, I’m so sorry😓😓

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?