Porn vs Erotic Novel- Same thing? Also, is either cheating?

I read Elsie Silver and she has about 3-5 sex scenes in her books described in detail and my husband knows but doesn't believe it is the same as porn because it's fake characters. He even got me a handmade custom bookmark for me. I own I think 8-9 of her books

Neither is cheating in MY marriage but I think it’s very silly to think of the two of those things as the same, especially if we’re talking some of the more popular fantasy series that have sex scenes sprinkled in between hundreds of pages of world building complex plots. Just imagine if men had to READ a hundred pages of a fiction book to get off just once on some non visual porn narration lmao, men would actually be better people imo because reading builds empathy, and they’d probably be better lovers too

I personally don’t think either are cheating, but I do believe both would fall into consuming erotic / adult content.

that’s an interesting view point regarding the fake characters.

It is silly if you compare it that way but that’s not a fair comparison. If we were comparing fairly, what you described would be the visual equivalent of something like an hours long movie with a few uncensored sex scenes sprinkled in. At that point you’re watching for the story and not necessarily the sex as well.
Hard core erotica fiction can be pretty graphic and conversely, there is also “soft porn” out there too. So I think it depends on which end of the spectrum you’re comparing the two but I think there’s definitely a point where the two could be comparable.

Neither is cheating imo and in my relationship. We both watch porn, individually and together. I’ve read erotic novels and they’re just as graphic.

I also don’t believe OFs is cheating. I think it’s ethical porn.

Same but not cheating I think for me cheating is kissing, being intimate or lieing to ur spouse about seeing the person or not telling ur partner
Porn is not real at least most they r just titles n actors vs homemade some people like filming themselves however
I feel like if someone pays for porn or watch the same person each time for update I think it is as for books some r not but if u give idea to ur S.o. an don't like it when he do prolly is same with music also sometimes porn is a great way to spice things up if u get bored or tired of the same positions. It really all depends on u an ur partner. As long as if u both happy an both get action

My husband and I listen to erotic novels together, (we love fantasy too) but we are also supportive of one another relying on pornographic material when one of us is not available or in the mood. The difference if that we are very open with one another about it, very aware of each others search prompts, kinks, and continually make an effort to set the mood from the beginning of the day to build sexual interest and anticipation.

No the same and neither is cheating to me or my husband. One is real people and one is imaginary people. So to me it’s 100% different

My husband gets all the benefits from my naughty books. 😅 Neither is cheating to us though. He doesn't want to listen to Kingfisher growling in my ears and I don't want to look at porn but we don't have a problem with either. If he had an addiction or history of having personal issues with porn then it'd be a different story. I've never heard of erotica/smut causing relationship issues but I've definitely seen so so so many posts about porn causing it.

Most popular books have less than 10% (a generous number btw) of their content being sexual scenes. This is like saying a tv show with some explicit scenes is the same as porn. Erotica is a genre of literary porn.

They can definitely be similar- porn is different depending on the specific video just like Erotic Novels so I guess it all depends on the specific video. I don’t think regular porn is so awful as most couples learn sexual positions and can get ideas to use in the bedroom with each other it just all depends on what kind it is. Very interactive kinds where you would be talking and sharing personal videos would definitely be cheating. I am not a fan of the Only Fans type of crap. It’s the new form of prostitution so yeah Only Fans “models” are prostitutes in the new electronic form. Erotic Novels are still unique from all the other types.

I understand what you are saying and I agree to an extent, but I also think you’re still not comparing the content fairly. We have to compare the content for what it’s meant to do, ie someone reading an erotic novel to get off, same as someone watching porn to get off, otherwise of course they won’t be the same. There are certainly a lot of mainstream “steamy” books, I can even get some from the library. But the point of those is an engaging storyline with a few erotic scenes. And those are no different than movies with a lot of sex scenes that I could watch on Netflix, Hulu etc.- the story line is the star, not necessarily the sex.
Real erotica, is graphic and meant to get you off, just like hard porn, so the goal for both is the same. You also can’t find either at the library or on Netflix etc.
But I agree, one does use fictional characters and the other uses actors/real people which I can see why some may feel differently about porn vs a book.

thank you for highlighting that distinction so well! I think some people equate books (written to entertain us) that contain sexual scenes the same as erotica, when they are completely different things. Erotica is porn, but yet it’s treated so differently. This has always fascinated me lol

The answers were weird & ended up clicking randomly trying to reread them. I don’t think either one are cheating usually but also books can’t even remotely be compared to porn, that’s like saying books are the same as watching movies. Now I’m not a big smut reader, but during a spicy part of a book my brain has already created & identified w/characters, I’m Demi & watching porn is a turn off for me, so I’m sure you can guess who I’m imagining in my head, there’s only two people in this world I would imagine, & I’m gonna go out on a limb & assume that the majority of people are imagining themselves w/ the person they want to be with too, I know my FIL hasn’t even gotten rid of my MIL’s books yet & she’s been gone nearly 6yrs, if he saw them as her cheating on him he wouldn’t want to see them in his living room everyday all day. I think the porn vs book argument is only being compared by people trying to manipulate their SO into being okay with something they’re not.

Not the same in my opinion. With a book, you use imagination.

Not the same. Erotic novels are way better and enjoyable than porn

🤷‍♀️ lmfao https://www.thesaurus.com/browse/erotica

I get what you are saying about erotica. Because I read lots of books and most with spicy scenes. And they are good books that would stand alone with those scenes.

And then there is erotica that would not stand alone without the sex scenes. Which could be argued are used just to get off.

But it is still vastly different than watching porn. Reading and watching are different