I just need to vent because I feel so stupid, stressed, and embarrassed

Okay so I’ve got 2 kids. Got PPD and anger both times. It wasn’t as bad the first time and it went away on its own. Well this time has been worse and my mental health has really taken a toll on my husband so much so that he decided to make a dating profile and started texting a girl on there. That girl reached out to me and my world blew up. I stayed at my parents for a few days with the kids while things simmered down and we decided to try therapy before making a decision as I’m a SAHM to our 2 girls.

We haven’t gotten far in therapy and I’ve been stressed with family, Christmas, and the girls not sleeping well so I lashed out at my husband unintentionally. He of course took it to heart and came home from work pissed off and told me I needed to leave the house as he was done (we are both on the mortgage so he can’t really kick me out) and he’d take the girls. Of course I fought that because I’m not leaving my girls. Well things got escalated quickly and he ended up hovering over me (I’m 5’6 and he’s 6’2) and screaming in my face that I needed to leave. He never hit me and never has but I was terrified so I called the cops. We simmered down and they left but not until they told my husband to start recording and documenting everything to build a case against me if things got worse.

My mom ended up driving an hour to us and we talked it out and I ended up staying but my body is physically hurting and sick from all the stress. I slept horribly and I’m so embarrassed and stressed about everything. Like my brother had to stop what he was doing to come pick up his kids that my mom was babysitting to come help me all for me to just stay again. We are doing therapy weekly still and reached out to our therapist but man I don’t know what to do and I just feel so numb.

Thank you if you read this far. I don’t really know what I’m looking for but needed to vent and type it out.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

This sounds tough. Realistically he tried to cheat and you're the children's primary care giver and so it makes sense that you stay in the home and he leaves however situations like these can escalate and it might be easier to stay with your parents for longer. I'm not that wise and so that's my best advice to get away from him if he's got one foot out the door and he's "terrified" you (your own word and a serious one imo). He felt entitled to get in your face and to take your kids from you. He doesn't sound safe.

I know this sounds dumb and like I’m defending him (which I never thought I’d do) but in the 8 years we’ve been together he’s never even raised his voice so seeing him in my face and screaming is new and has never happened before which was part of what terrified me yesterday

You venting I know has got to be some relief and that’s exactly what needed to be done. You starting to express your emotions in a healthy way and getting into therapy will soon allow the situation to fade away. if you Love him and willing to take yourself through understanding unconditional love you’re definitely on the right path but if its draining and causing you to hate your self in the process it’s time to get your exit plan together that’s the type of advice I gave myself from dealing with something similar to your situation. I wish you happy/whole/peaceful healing it most definitely will get better!!!!

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?