I am struggling.

Is it worth seeing if he has colic? A chiropractor could maybe help!!

Oh lovely! I’m so sorry you both feel like this ❤️ you guys are definitely not the only parents on earth that have felt like this I can assure you! My mum always reminds me of how much I was like this when I was first born and has been prewarning me about this before mine is born as I’m not great with noises that get overwhelming! I think the first thing to do is to remind each other you are a team and that this is just a phase, it will pass. Second thing whack on the earphones and ear defenders when he is screaming, cancel it out! It doesn’t make you an evil parent or anything like that, you’ve both just reached a point where you are at your limit and that’s fine! Thirdly I’d be getting to the doctors to see if he has colic or a milk allergy or something like that because constant screaming must sound like he’s in pain!? If you’ve tried to go through a list to eliminate what could be wrong like is he hungry, is he changed, is it wind, is it needing skin to skin and if you have

We were in this place, I promise you. The colic was completely traumatising, 5pm til midnight non stop. None of our friends or family had experienced it before so no one could offer reassurance. I found the Facebook support groups the best so you see you’re not alone.

All I have for you is to validate how fucking hard it is and the fissures it causes in your relationship. I literally thought i hated my partner during that time and we couldn’t be intimate because we were so exhausted and touched out. There’s also that resentment and guilt you mention where you’re just like, Why us?

If you’re at 3 months, the colic should hopefully start to lessen now. Every month it will get easier. A year is a milestone. Then at 18 months (roughly where we are now), you will feel completely in a different place and like it was all worth it. Our son is so happy, sweet natured and resilient now - so different from the miserable, constantly crying, screaming and squirming newborn.

Do you have family or a trusted friend who can just come and sit with him for an hour or two while you and your husband go for a walk to clear your heads and get away from the noise?

My cousin baby was the same since birth and he had colic so worth checking with other doctor.Aslo i would recommend 💯 to get probiotics/ baby drops. i've used the probiotics for my baby since his birth and he never had any upset tummy or colic.

All I can say is, hang in there and try and find a friend with a baby who lives local who you can get out with for walks and light relief. Because your hormones will be all over the place and you just need to know that you’re doing the best you can!!! You just have to ride it and try and stay sane and look after yourself. It was the worst time of my life but it was all worth it for my toddler. And sometimes, it goes the opposite way - people have an angelic newborn who sleeps through the night and gurgles happily in their chair but later they have an awful toddler… Chin up!! You’ve got this!!! And at least you’re being honest with yourself xxxxx

I'm sorry to hear that your families aren't supportive. That's really disappointing. We all need a hand sometimes and no doubt they'll be turning to you in their old age. Anyway, I would definitely seek a second opinion on your baby's crying - GPs don't know everything and I'm sure there's someone out there who can help you. I really hope you get some respite soon.

You have just described my baby within the first few months. It was absolutely horrendous and I was also thinking of adoption because I just couldn’t cope anymore. Everytime he was awake he was unhappy and crying out like he was in pain. I went to the GP 8x and to A&E 3x and was told it was colic & reflux. They gave me medication but he was still really unhappy. It wasn’t until I went back to my GP and I broke down he then referred me back to the hospital where again they said it was just bad reflux. I was then eventually referred to a dietician as she suspected it was CMPA, we tried several different milks and I think it was around 5 months old (4 months corrected) that we started to see him improving. I finally got my happy baby, he’s so much better don’t get me wrong we still have bad days. But we have more good than bad. I’d keep pushing with the doctors, you as a mother know something isn’t right. Don’t give up, you are doing everything right ❤️

Regardless if they are old school or not, surely they had help when they had their babies?! It's not much to ask for an hour here and there. What about a babysitter? Just so you guys get an hour of sleep.

We used probiotics for our baby when he was little to relieve the pressure on his tummy. We also used an osteopath for support as he had some trauma from his birth.

Tag team with your husband. Take an hour and give an hour. You'll find that your patience will grow with an hour away just to have a bath/ calm down.

Babies can feel your emotions so if you are angry or upset, he's going to vibe with that and it could potentially be causing the upset temperament. You could also try some skin to skin time. When my boy would cry, I would literally just lay on the bed with some calming music with him on my chest. He would nuzzle for boob or just lay there relaxing.

He doesn't know he ruined Christmas. He's just a tiny baby in a world he doesn't understand. He won't be this small forever. X

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, it’s not normal for a baby to scream all the time so it definitely sounds like there’s something wrong that you haven’t got to the bottom of yet. I would keep pushing the doctors!

In the meantime I would consider loop earplugs, so you can still hear but they’re amazing for taking the edge off over stimulating noises. There’s a few different ones for different levels of noise reduction but here’s one xx

https://amzn.to/4pg4scL

It may also be worth looking into whether there’s a local charity that offers support. There’s one called cry-sis if you google, I haven’t any personal experience but hopefully they would be able to point you in the right direction.

Sending love, you’re doing amazing by posting this and asking for help xx

Families not helping with babies isn't old school, that's new school. It's our parents generation that's started that attitude towards their grandchildren, it's pervasive and you're the farthest from alone. I haven't had a single day away from my baby since he was born and he used to scream a lot too, I coped with it much better than my partner as he's my third baby. But it is crushingly hard. What I will say is a piercing high scream is not a character quirk, something is upsetting your baby and it's bound to be pain or discomfort. Depending on how you're feeding him, I'd try ruling out intolerance starting with dairy and try gripe water and infacol. You can figure this out I assure you 🫶🏻

I’m so sorry it’s so difficult for you. It must be equally difficult for the baby if not more as he is trying to communicate something and he can’t. It could be physical pain / discomfort but could also be something else, eg baby might be neurodivergent and feeling overstimulated or something like that. I wish you all the strength and hope that things get easier soon. X

Try contacting your local osteopath and chiropractors. Just do some research to find one that is experienced with babies. Any manipulations they do on a baby should be super gentle.

The NHS frankly don't care that your baby is screaming 24/7 because they don't have to deal with it, and the onus isn't on them to fund it.

Good luck x

No advice as such, but lots of babies are like this. My little boy is, and we have a toddler, it’s exhausting. Just take each day at a time, dial down your expectations, just survive. Before you know it he’ll be older and crawling about, and much happier.
I think a lot of people don’t talk about stuff like this, which is why people end up so shocked when some babies are like this.
I do feel like a lot of our friends and family don’t really get it, and don’t understand why we aren’t going to that many gatherings etc.

We struggled initially, I think more people are open to admitting this than before, but not enough. There's an idea that having a baby is magical, white sheets, dreamy sleepy days...but sometimes it's not its dark, it's experiencing feelings you've never felt before.
I genuinely think babies pick up on this too, your turmoil becomes their turmoil. Which we just can't help but feelings are like the weather, with times they will change and move on.
Which doesn't help when you're in the thick of it
I hated the 1st year. Honestly it put me personally in some mental spots, I never wish to revisit. My relationship struggled, luckily my partner had a lot of patience.

Have you joined any mum groups, play groups or classes? That helped me, getting to go to a place I wasn't judged, even with their babies that seemed perfect in my eyes (I'm sure they all had their struggles too) but honestly a weight lifted when I could freely chat and get advice. And get out the house.
Thoughts are with you lovely x

Our little boy went through a screaming phase for weeks when he was a tiny baby. For him it was trapped wind and we kept trying different remedies to get through it and now he's the happiest boy in the world. Almost never cries and is just a joy to be around. Im afraid it doesnt help you figure out what the problem is for your baby but hopefully gives you the reassurance that when you DO find it things might just all turn around for you.

Just over 5 years ago, we were there too. For us one day the crying just stopped. I can't say when, but it just did. Whilst it's very hard in the moment, this too will pass.

I’m going through the same with my 11 month old. He’s always been a screamer and there’s days where I feel like ripping my hair out but it’s got slightly easier I guess, like compared to how he was a month ago it’s easier. I can’t offer much advice bc we’re in the same boat but I’m sending you all my love, it gets better once they can hold their own bottle to drink while you run around and get stuff done quickly x

Try seeing a good pediatrician. Hope this phase passes by and you forget about it❤️

Free paediatric consultations apparently. Give it a go:

https://kidswellhealth.com/local-paediatric-care/?utm_term=paediatrician%20near%20me&utm_campaign=Local+%7C+Search&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=ppc&hsa_acc=6121643205&hsa_cam=22399126065&hsa_grp=181216263007&hsa_ad=787060938145&hsa_src=g&hsa_tgt=kwd-297222135000&hsa_kw=paediatrician%20near%20me&hsa_mt=p&hsa_net=adwords&hsa_ver=3&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22399126065&gbraid=0AAAAA_NYqufCXyaf0-leHSmwWG6shgE3e&gclid=Cj0KCQiAgbnKBhDgARIsAGCDdlcXcPWYfw63Mfv_9pggl3E4NLb5-CRPszLHeUr9hsTdHCImQ1BTpKsaAloEEALw_wcB

Also my nephew was the exact same …. For no reason! (Apparently not colic too) he’d even hold his breath and we’d lose our minds.

Try holding and running around with him and sing as the biggest distraction!

Keep a good feeding and sleeping schedule to not miss then incase he’s overtired.

Try Aptamel comfort or something to rule out colic yourself. Try daily warm baths

this might be a reach but i would have to help my baby fart A LOT and i mean like spreading his butt open while gently pushing his knees into tummy do u know what i mean? and sometimes even after burping he still had a little bit of gas bubbles he needed help working out and we'd have to gyrate him or rub or pat up his back to work the gas out. sometimes he needed bigger pats or some pressure behind the rub and sometimes he'd let a big burp after just being sat up and extended a bit and held at the chin or sometimes id put him over my shoulder. you can private message me and i can demonstrate better if youre interested!

I know people are saying it might be colic, but my baby was exactly like this. It’s was awful. A sling helped, bed sharing, contact naps, etc., but for the most part she just screamed all day and everyone said there was something wrong with her, but professionals disagreed. I think it stopped at around 5/6 months.

Please invest in earplugs where you can adjust the amount of noise that enters.
It feels like cheating, but once the volume of the screaming is reduced then it is a lot easier to emotionally regulate yourself.

Will family or a friend be able to babysit while you both have a break? You sound like you desperately need to recharge.

If you have no support, please reach out to the charity Homestart. Their volunteers are fully vetted and will come around once a week for a few hours so you can have a break.

Reach out to your health visitor as well.

I would suggest having your baby checked for a tongue-tie, as my little girl was the same. She was screaming because she took in too much gas and not enough milk, so she was bloated and hungry.

If you feel as though you may harm your baby, call 999 and tell them that you are desperate and need help.

You love your baby, and you would do anything to help him, but this is such a hard phase to get through. It will pass, you are good parents, you will get through this

Great suggestions above, also maybe look into taking baby to see an osteopath- the whole process of birth can be traumatic on babies bodies and sometimes there’s something that’s out of alignment in the baby’s body and it causes them a lot of discomfort… an osteopath can look at the alignment and do massage and mobility work to help realign everything and hopefully make baby feel a lot more relaxed

I can really relate to this, as my LB was exactly the same for the first few months. He had colic and silent reflux. I ended up with bad postnatal depression after he was born. Its so bloody hard and like others say we need to start talking more honestly about it, because its not sunshine and roses like society makes out. All I can say is it does get easier. X

My baby really struggled with trapped wind which would make him scream and scream!! He’s my 2nd and I was blindsided by how unsettled & unhappy he was, with experience under my belt I was struggling & clueless to what was wrong!

We now use and recommend Windis - not everyone’s cup of tea but I’m so grateful for them, pop one in and my baby is relieved instantly!

We also use colic drops to pop in his milk, colic bottles and do the I Love you massage every few hours to help things along and we have seen a big improvement. A warm bath followed by bicycle legs help on an evening too.

It’s so hard - you aren’t alone. We’ve all thought about how easy life would be without them before - but when the good days come you wouldn’t be without them💗 xx

Have a look into CMPA the doctors often fob you off. I’d personally go back to the gp’s, or if you can afford to pay privately do that.

Both my boys have/had CMPA which led to colic they are both breastfed so I ended up going dairy free both times as they would cry and scream out in pain. Once the dairy was out of their systems they were different babies. I would suggest going back to the gp’s and asking for a different formula to try if you’re not breastfeeding as my friend also had the same with her baby and was fobbed off so many times.

My first son infacol worked really well however for my second gripe water worked better for him.

All I can only say in the moment it feels like it’s never going to end but once you’re through it you’ll have a lifetime of happy moments that this hard time will be a distant memory. Of course it’s your choice what you do, just know there is light at the end of the tunnel. And even a year from now your Christmas will be so different.

❤️

Also just wanted to add that I’m sorry this is how your journey into motherhood/parenthood has been. Often people feel robbed of the time they had with their baby being small. It’s really hard and can feel so isolating.

Please reach out if you ever need to talk. ❤️