Family Rant

Is it me? Am I expecting too much or what the heck is going on?!
This year with having a baby and obviously less money to use (We saved all my money even when I was working and only used my bf money for rent, food, going out etc)
And as I’m more of a homemaker and feel like I don’t just want to buy something unless I know someone wants or needs something specific!

So, I made some christmas jam, packed it all nicely, I also made salt dough ornaments and painted them individually, made a christmas card as I do every year. And not a single person (parents, grandparents, brother and SIL) messaged me that they liked it or that the jam tastes nice or anything. My brother didn’t even say anything that he has received it, I know he has bcs I checked the tracking.
I just feel like it’s not “good enough”, as my parents and grandparents always had money and gifted us big, but we never grew up needing to have expensive stuff, all grounded and not materialistic.

I always feel like I’m the one to put loads of effort in. My family isn’t very emotional or showing feelings. I think my parents hugged me the first time when I left to travel in Australia when I was 21 years old. Don’t even get me started on my brother👀 which also has a baby (mine and his are 4 days apart) and I always make sure to send loads of pictures as he is the uncle and I want him to be part of it. He and his wife just seem to “not care” I rarely get pictures for my little niece, and all I want is to be part of her life too. To mentioned I do live in a different country and haven’t seen them yet.
And I know for a fact they don’t even realise any of this and if I do mention it, I’m exaggerating in their eyes.

All I ever wanted was a close loving family, and my bf and I swore we will do anything we can to build that, as he has similar experience.

Thanks for reading this far! I don’t got any friends either since moving country, it’s just tough, especially since becoming a mum!

🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

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“All I ever wanted was a close loving family”

Your family sounds awful tbh, devoid of emotion, unloving and selfish. Given you already know this, you’re being unreasonable in thinking anything will change.

Time to take a step back from them and stop putting in so much effort as clearly it’s neither appreciated nor wanted. Lower your expectations and accept they’ll never be the family you want, you’ll feel a lot happier.

If you want a close loving family, that’s unfortunately going to have to start from you and your partner.

You cant build a house on quicksand..every brick you add will just get sucked in. Youll put all that effort in with no reward and wonder why youre so tired. Build the family with your partner, your kids, you guys are the solid foundation.

Family relationships can be so difficult. Some of our families on both sides, just baffle us with their attitudes and behaviours. It’s disappointing that we don’t have the sort of family bonds we’d like at times.

Maybe they just haven't tried the jam yet? It is only 1 day after they would have opened the present.

I'm also guilty of being slow to reply to messages or send out thank yous, just as the time between Xmas and new year is quite busy for us. I'd give everyone a bit more time before deciding on what to do

I'm someone who loves to make gifts but I have learnt to only make gifts for people who I know will actually appreciate it and not bother otherwise

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

Shift worker daddies - advice please?

My husband works shifts (6am-6pm days or 6pm-6am nights) so when he’s on shift we either get about an hour or 2 before he goes to work or an hour or 2 when we gets home with him.

I don’t think people who aren’t married/have babies with shift workers fully understand the impact of feeling like a solo parent sometimes.

Does anyone have any advice? I do have parents who can help but I struggle to leave my baby with others as I always feel like they don’t understand the need for tracking wake windows or feeds and our baby will not sleep unless we black out a room or go for a car drive . Everyone seems to think ‘if he’s tired he’ll drop off’ - no he’ll just get overtired and have to then pay for it during his night sleep. So I feel like it’s just easier for me to do it all myself.

When my husbands off work he is great but I do take the mental load of telling him what to do or even reminding him of wake windows etc because he’s not here and forgets routines. He’s also being tested for ADHD currently so there’s that on top of shift work.

Just looking for advice on how to stay sane/keep routines or share loads with shifts workers?

Thank you ❤️