I took a little Christmas holiday away with the kids. I spent some time with family while my partner was working over Christmas. He came to stay with us for Christmas day until the end of the weekend, but I stayed an additional week because I was getting rest, and he was going to work anyway. I felt great coming home and ready to make a better effort in our relationship because I'd been quite stressed with another baby on the way for a while.
After New years Day with my family, I came home. I finally felt stress free in my home and even initiated intimacy. But in the morning, as the kids are waking up, my partner starts his usual morning grievance with me. "I want to lie in for an hour," he says. I responded OK which he seemed to ignore and said it again. I said OK again, and it quickly became an argument about an OK not being the same as a yes. I started asking him to please be nice to me and not kick me out of our bed in the morning and it continued to escalate into a roaring match until he got out of bed himself to deal with the kids. Our mornings start like this so often that I stress that I'm never going to be allowed to be happy for more than what feels like a minute. I've talked to him about this before and he has eased up before, but during that conflict he was just claiming he's not allowed to ask for a lie in and he's not about to be my mother who gave me so much more opportunity for rest than he ever does.
Is this even redeemable, or do I need to accept that there's too much damage done here? I feel so lost because I just want to wake up calmly, not feeling like the person in bed beside me is ramping himself up to fight all the time.
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No one should be shouting. We are adults and need to learn to communicate. Have that discussion with him

Was it like this before kids?
Id say dont make decisions while youre emotional and hormonal. Wait until your 9 months pp and communicate