Better Relationships After Baby

I took a little Christmas holiday away with the kids. I spent some time with family while my partner was working over Christmas. He came to stay with us for Christmas day until the end of the weekend, but I stayed an additional week because I was getting rest, and he was going to work anyway. I felt great coming home and ready to make a better effort in our relationship because I'd been quite stressed with another baby on the way for a while.

After New years Day with my family, I came home. I finally felt stress free in my home and even initiated intimacy. But in the morning, as the kids are waking up, my partner starts his usual morning grievance with me. "I want to lie in for an hour," he says. I responded OK which he seemed to ignore and said it again. I said OK again, and it quickly became an argument about an OK not being the same as a yes. I started asking him to please be nice to me and not kick me out of our bed in the morning and it continued to escalate into a roaring match until he got out of bed himself to deal with the kids. Our mornings start like this so often that I stress that I'm never going to be allowed to be happy for more than what feels like a minute. I've talked to him about this before and he has eased up before, but during that conflict he was just claiming he's not allowed to ask for a lie in and he's not about to be my mother who gave me so much more opportunity for rest than he ever does.

Is this even redeemable, or do I need to accept that there's too much damage done here? I feel so lost because I just want to wake up calmly, not feeling like the person in bed beside me is ramping himself up to fight all the time.

I feel like my partner has become my housemate. And he's not a very good one. Let me start with how great he is. He's an incredible father. He contributes a great deal as a father. As a partner, he is also great. Except the problem there is that is feels like he's opted out. Like he's just not being my partner. He doesn't sleep with me. When he does, he doesn't get up with me. He smokes and I can't be intimate with him when that's all i can smell (I'm hyper sensitive to it while pregnant). He doesn't complain about the lack of intimacy. He just takes his personal time and smokes. Which leaves me alone. And when he does get up, he flings his clothes wherever, leaves them on the floor, and the towels. I've nagged and nagged and been done nagging to try other gentler ways to get through how the mess makes me feel. But he doesn't change. And I suppose I'm not supposed to expect him to. But I'm at the stage of wondering what is the point in envisioning a future with him? I don't want to separate him from the kids, but he leads a terrible example when it comes to tidiness and personal accountability. Yet I feel like I'm never going to be happy in this relationship. I've always liked envisioning a dream home for my future, and because of the way he lives, and treats my space, and doesn't even share a bed with me, I can barely picture him in that dream without separate bedrooms, which feels tragic.

I want to accept things and be happy. If anybody has advice, even if it's judgemental, I'm open to hearing it

How is everyone’s partner/husband involved with the baby? My partner works a 9-5 job from home but seems to be too tired to help me most of the time. He does help and he obviously works and we have a very comfortable life. The first 3 months he was exceptional and did everything for me as I was very unwell. But since I’ve recovered a bit he seems to back off more and more. I just need him to take the baby for 1h or 2h so I can rest and can be such a fight, because he says he needs to rest after work and he has to work tomorrow again. The baby is 5 1/2 months and I had some very tough nights. I also have no family or friends where we live, so it’s basically just me. He even said yesterday that all women do it alone and that he can’t sit there all night watch me breastfeeding the baby. It’s not what I want anyway, but maybe getting up early to take him for 1h or so. To take him at the weekend for a walk, so I can wash my hair. Am I asking for too much?

How does everyone else divide the responsibilities? What’s your arrangement with your partner?

How have other couples kept a healthy relationship while newly becoming parents?
We both struggle to balance our relationship, learning how to be parents, and a somewhat busy everyday life. Sometimes it feels like we’re roommates rather than a couple😬. I especially struggle to not get angry when it seems like my fiance constantly needs help taking care of our daughter, but I do understand he works a lot and I do see he’s trying. We’re both putting in the effort to better our relationship, but what things have other couples done to successfully better their relationships?

I don’t know how to properly explain this but here it goes I’m a new mum to a beautiful baby girl and it’s me, her, my partner and his dog We’ve been together for a bit over a year now and personally I’m not happy in the relationship anymore. Ever since I found out I was pregnant back in October 2024 things have changed between my partner and I, fighting 2-4 times a week, him on his phone 24/7 watching shows and no sexual contact at all nowadays I’m lucky to even get a kiss from him let alone anything else There was a incident 2 months before giving birth to my little girl where I caught him messaging other girls in all of the wrong ways, complementing them sexually saying how hot they are and how he wish he had money to buy stuff off their OF, and when I confronted him about it first he lied straight to my face and said it wasn’t him someone else had his account but it was a freshly new account, only when I started packing my bags ready to go he said that he did do it but it wasn’t cheating it was a mistake, so I stayed because I don’t want my little girl to grow up having her parents separated like I did But now almost 3 months postpartum I’ve asked him for hugs,kisses, sex and time spent with me but it’s excuse after excuse, I’m a young mum only 18 and I’m on a constant day in and out wake up at 6am get baby’s bottle ready make sure his work clothes are ready at 6:30am everyone is awake getting ready for the day and by 7am he’s out the door to work, then I put bubba girl for a nap take his dog toilet and clean the house from the night before the kitchen where I cooked down to his side of the bed with all the snack wrappers and I get told I don’t do anything, I feel like I’m being used, I feel like he likes the idea of me but doesn’t love me, I right now have been diagnosed with postpartum depression, and he said it’s nothing and that I’ll be okay and I should just be like I was before

What should I do I’m urging for peoples opinions nice or not sugar coated or bang smack what you think I don’t think I have any options left