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Better Relationships After Baby

Could you find a way to accept this life?

I feel like my partner has become my housemate. And he's not a very good one. Let me start with how great he is. He's an incredible father. He contributes a great deal as a father. As a partner, he is also great. Except the problem there is that is feels like he's opted out. Like he's just not being my partner. He doesn't sleep with me. When he does, he doesn't get up with me. He smokes and I can't be intimate with him when that's all i can smell (I'm hyper sensitive to it while pregnant). He doesn't complain about the lack of intimacy. He just takes his personal time and smokes. Which leaves me alone. And when he does get up, he flings his clothes wherever, leaves them on the floor, and the towels. I've nagged and nagged and been done nagging to try other gentler ways to get through how the mess makes me feel. But he doesn't change. And I suppose I'm not supposed to expect him to. But I'm at the stage of wondering what is the point in envisioning a future with him? I don't want to separate him from the kids, but he leads a terrible example when it comes to tidiness and personal accountability. Yet I feel like I'm never going to be happy in this relationship. I've always liked envisioning a dream home for my future, and because of the way he lives, and treats my space, and doesn't even share a bed with me, I can barely picture him in that dream without separate bedrooms, which feels tragic.

I want to accept things and be happy. If anybody has advice, even if it's judgemental, I'm open to hearing it