Wasting my mat leave

Sending lots of hugs, it’s so tough when they’re not sleeping properly and you’re running on fumes!

I’m one of those “let him sleep when he feels like it” now - I felt a guilt for a while when other mums I know/saw on here were talking about 7pm bedtime so we tried doing it for ours and it was awful. His sleep was messed up l for weeks (and we only tried it the one night!). Most nights, my baby is down by 9/9:30 and (before he started teething and suffering from an awful cold) waking maybe once a night. He’s worse at the moment but I’m putting it down to the teething pains as when a tooth pops through he’s better til the next one starts coming!

There’s really no “one size fits all” for babies, so if you think letting her find her own rhythm may help, give it a go! You’ve really got this, even if the sleep deprivation makes you feel otherwise at times ❤️

I feel like we are very similar people in very similar situations. My little boy is 6 months next week and has only just started to nap longer but only in his pram. At first I panicked thinking I was making it worse for future me, but I’m trying to relax in the fact that he is sleeping there for now. I try to remember that years ago they didn’t have all this guidance and sleep training etc shoved down our throats with social media. Lots of things are marketed at mums because we are vulnerable! Xx

You’re not alone feeling overwhelmed, we are at 7mnths now and my little one will take 23 minute naps(!!) which isn’t much considering he’s able to stay awake longer. But he usually wakes up rested and fine, I just try and remember he’ll sleep later. He had a 23 minute one this morning and now he’s on 1hr 40 - all these sleep experts will tell me he shouldn’t be having his longest nap at this time of the day, bugger them lol.

I agree with Millie, I’m so sick of “high need” “low need” “sleep pressure” and all of the other common sense terms shoved down our throats 😂 every baby is different and all it ends up doing is thinking something is wrong when actually, babies aren’t robots, their sleep needs change, their settling methods change. Just when you think you’ve got them sussed they can change again! All they want from us is comfort and to feel safe ❤️never seen a sleep deprived baby, just us parents 😂 you sound like an amazing mum trialling all these things but you know bubba best ❤️

It might help you to know that babies actually regulate by "borrowing" our nervous systems. Sleep isn't just biological, it's neurological, and in order to be "calm" enough to sleep, they actually use our nervous systems by extension. So when you are stressed, she can't sleep - but when you're calm, you're helping her regulate enough to sleep.

I'm not saying it's 100% effective or that feeling stressed is bad - but learning methods to calm yourself down can help, because babies co-regulate, so she will take cues from how you are feeling.

I have absolutely been where you are calculating nap times and stressing about leaving the house. My baby is nearly 8 months and when I stop to think about it there has been an improvement from 6 months generally. My baby has dropped to 2 naps which I find so much less stressful than 3! Day to day it can be tough (like today when she hasn't had her 2nd nap at all and we're heading for a meltdown) and I worry about the night we will have if her naps aren't good. But generally there is improvement. She slept in her cot for a whole nap yesterday for an 1hr and 45min. My husband and I were shocked and so happy! Completely out of the blue so one day yours will have a little breakthrough like that.
Maybe when you feel yourself getting stressed take some deep breaths. Savour a hot drink or a shower something small to ease your day. I've been very stressed last night and today but trying to hold onto the improvements as a sign of things changing. Good luck xx

my little girl is now 1 but omg i’m shocked i made it through the year😭 i started 2025 writing down every thing down like in my notes i had tables of feeds, nappy changes (wee’s & poo’s), wake times, naps and i actually was going psycho, exhausting myself worrying about it all. (100% lied on them postpartum things😂) i was so miserable and honestly one day literally went fuck this, deleted it and just went with it. in terms of sleep, my little girl just guided me into when she needed to sleep and when she was able to stay awake for longer. every child is different but i definitely would say the minute i just let it take its course, i relaxed within myself and life become better. honestly keep going, you’ll be okay💕💕💕

I definitely think you’re overthinking it. My baby woke every 1.5-2 hours every night for 12 months and then one day started sleeping through and has since. My nephew slept through from pretty much day one, but at 4 now wakes about 15 times a night. Don’t compare your baby to others, they’re little individuals. I think if you just accept your baby as she is and go with the flow, you’ll both have an easier time and enjoy your maternity leave. There is no magic trick, they’ll sleep through when they’re ready. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself.

Second for the let him sleep when he wants crew. Mine is just shy of 3.5 months, and has never adhered to a bedtime. We may try to implement one, but after a short regression over Christmas post-vaccination, he's back to doing 2 big night stints, usually starting round 1am after a big feed. We then get usually 5-6 hours, with an early morning feed, and another 2-3, which makes the 1am settle time manageable. He's currently asleep in my arms, and often naps a lot during the day, and is more wakeful in the early evening.