Spiritual support

I am struggling with a lot right now and I am in need of some advice.
My son was an 11-year journey and he is 1 year and a half now. I think a big part of my issue might be figuring out the new version of myself.
It seems to correlate with trying to let go of control, routine and how to let go of fears like losing him somehow, or not becoming my mother.
Last year, I had martial problems (working through them), we lost family (both through death and disconnection), my house is falling apart, I have financial issues right now though my husband and I are both struggling to go back to work, as we both don’t want to miss anything after such a long wait. We are both believers in a creator, and we are both trying to find ourselves as parents and how we fit in this creation. I am feeling like an absolute failure because I know I can go back to work and fix the house but I didn’t have a present mum and I’m scared my son will feel abandoned if I leave, like I did as a child. I’m struggling to find purpose in my day and this is affecting my ability to be present with my son anyway. My husband has mental health and this has been a big issue lately with ongoing conflict with his own mother so I am finding myself trying to do all the housework but then feeling overwhelmed and guilty that I am not spending time with my son. I try and wait for him to sleep but by then, I am completely exhausted. I’m struggling to find time to eat. If I make food I feel like I am leaving my son even more but if he is in the kitchen with me, he wants me to hold him and it makes it extremely hard to make food. By the time I’ve sorted his food out, I’m completely drained or eager to get back to my son. I’m completely overwhelmed, lost, and confused with how to move forward. I’ve tried schedules, goal management, applying for financial support, talking to family, going with the flow, meditation, journaling, walks in nature (though hard to do in the winter) and god knows what else. At this point everything is confusing and chaos and I don’t know how to move forward and find balance. Any help, advice, tips, suggestions etc, would be incredibly appreciated.

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You are not a failure. You are an AMAZING mum simply by being so self aware of how much you want your son to thrive.
You have to be thriving in order to make that happen though too, nd if going back to work will give you purpose, and make you feel.more yourself again (it does for me) then look into going back.
Your son may likely HATE nursery to begin with, but once they settle, it is AMAZING to them. They learn ao much, do so many fun activites, make friends, learn additional human interaction etc.
My son now goes in saying bye bye mummy and doesn't look back!!
Perhaps start applying for jobs and see how that feels.
Also, with a job and sorting the things in your house, will give you another sense of satisfaction and pride. I wish you the best of luck 🫶🏼

Hey. It sounds like you're really going through it all at the moment. Sending you so much love ❤️ I can resonate with some of your struggles in the sense that I wanted to be a stay at home mom so bad because of the control aspect, wanting to see everything and provide for them, but in the same breath I STRUGGLED with the SAHM life. It wasn't for me. I need routine, I need money to be able to do the fun things with my kids. When I was at home we did nothing. Now I'm working, I get 'me time', bring home the bread and then plan fun activities. I can guarantee you that being away from your child for 6-8 hours of the day, however manh days you choose, will not effect him. He will not feel abandoned. This is your inner child screaming right now. Nuture her first, then you can truly nurture your own child, be happy and start to move forward. Else you will just stay In that never ending cycle of not wanting to leave your child because you as a child didn't want to be left. Your painful past is holding you back 💔💔

(ran out of word limit lol). I can guarantee you that you're doing amazing and fulfilling your child's every needs. Now it's time to fulfil your own, mama, so that you can THRIVE ❤️

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?