Long post alert

I was with my ex husband for 14 years, we had a little boy who is now 5 years old. We split up when my little boy was 3 and he moved on within 3 months of our breakup. The women he has moved on with has caused me a lot of stress, she isn’t respectful at all and there has been occasions where my child has been in situations with them both which has led my child to be distraught. Their relationship has been on and off for around 2 years now and the past 6 months he has told me they aren’t together, he has been giving me mixed signals, saying things in front of my child with regards to mixed signals, and now he has told me that him and her are having a baby.
This has come as a big shock to me because he was standing in my house giving me mixed signals infront of our child.
My whole experience with them when they have been together is so negative, it really affected my mental health, me and my child’s dad always arguing, everything I say is a lie, everything my child says is a lie and the partner loves to play games to cause trouble.
The whole thing is toxic. I just don’t want a repeat of it all again and I can’t trust that I wont go through all of that again.
Has anyone else had any experience like this? How have you got through it all?
I honestly don’t want to be back to that state where my mental health was so badly affected by them.

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Hey hun I’m so sorry, not the same thing at all but I have been in extremely toxic relationships and they eventually do turn physical. Get away while you can. If they don’t treat your baby right now, they will only get worse with another kid on the way. They aren’t a safe space for your child anyway, you deserve to feel happy and at ease. Kids sense our anxieties and when we have exposure to these nasty things for prolonged time it will start to mess with your physical health. This is spoken from experience. I know this all must be devastating to deal with and I hope you have a safe space with loved ones so you can heal. The only way to move on is to completely cold turkey. Do not have contact besides what you must do legally.

Cafcass, relate and Relationship Matters have some good tools and resources for co-parenting better.

Personally I find time / as the child gets older it gets easier.

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