Im white, he’s black and it’s 2026 but people still think im a “the nanny or daddy’s girlfriend”
Me and my husband been together 19 years!! I’m ghost pale while, he’s black. Our two boys are on the much darker side, and in their 4 years of life, only once has someone said the natural “mum is this hair cut okay… mum is this right” instead I get “aw and what about daddies gf… or what did his mum says his hair type was” like as if I’m the nanny. When the nursey got a new staff member, she questioned me for my sons password at pick up, I said that’s only for non parental people who pick them up no? She said yea who are you to the boys? THEIR MOTHER!
One woman at softplay even asked do I use an agency for nannying or am I self employed I said I don’t know I’m an accountant, she went “oh are these your nephews or?” Nope mine :) “aw adoption is great isn’t it” nope I birthed them, “oh… oh… well dads genes took control there didn’t they😂” somtimes, it’s soul destroying, I know who I married, I knew my kids where going to look how they do, but I never expected this 🤦🏻♀️
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People are deeply stupid when it comes to interracial couples
This year I’ve been with my partner for 21 years so I feel your pain! People are just plain stupid, don’t let it get to you.
Assumption's always make an ass out of people... one should never assume. Same happens to my friend, she's black and her youngest is the lightest brightest baby, people always confuse her for a nanny or family friend or something 🙄
I’m the complete opposite of you. My son is pretty white passing and I just know because are so confused when we’re out together. We were at an airport in New Jersey and I had so many people commenting on how well I am with him and what nanny agency I work for. I’m like his my son! My aunt has mixed children as well. She half black and Cuban and her husband white. So there kids look white and people use to ask her if she the nanny. It’s so stupid.
what the hell is wrong with people… i’m so sorry.
The nursery one with the new staff I would let slide. They've done it with me when they had a new staff but I know it adds up as I've had this now and again
I had this when we were visiting where my sons dads from. Im white as snow but hes dark as are most of the locals there so people were confused who i was to our son as although my sons lighter skinned he still looks like a copy of his dad. Ironically that doesnt happen where I'm from. Plus the fact my son can say a few words now and hes always saying mommy 😊
Why do you get affected by that. This is so common : at work (somehow just when I show up, people cognitive biases, belief system just go off, the majority are women, as a result they create a story to comfort their brain : I am hangry, dismissive to my peers, uneducated-unprofessional... the false rumor spread, I got laid-off), at social event (In a bar most people would approach me to find out who I am, not to befriend me but to report to their peers. One man spent an evening talking about his wife cheating with a CEO, offering me to be the sexual mistress but once he understood this is hardly my style, spead lies, he was known, white and respected, that I said to him things immoral, sexual... people believed him). These situations should not affect you anymore. It does happen more often than none. Education has nothing to do with the phenomena, this is biases, a mental health issue. Accepting, acknowledging that more rather than none have this is key to detaching and maintaining your own mental health.
I understand this all too well; went through it with my parents growing up and now going through it with my son.
The best way to combat this when they make a statement just stare and let them explain; if they insist on you addressing their statement , ask them to explain …basically answer their question with a question
At daycare there’s not much you can do about that; except trying a different place that bothers to know who you and your child are to each other.
The nanny questions; I would play; tell them you get paid a ton of money and you’re allowed to take on another charge since they’re inquiring about Nannie’s;
Be like they pay for my car house; health insurance dental ; cleaning laundry services; groceries; all of the kids outtings and activities; petty cash all that ; along with your weekly pay; I bring the kids here so they can have a normal childhood apart from their luxury Lives
they’ll either get insulted ;jealous or ask to hire you for the obscene amount you stated.
I know a few are saying let the nursery one slide but thats the part i find most concerning. If a woman turned up with the same skin colour as your baby would that worker have just given your son over because she obviously hadnt looked at the record to make sure she knew who his people were and who she could hand him over too.Unfortunately we are still in a world were people dont understand their own biases or bother to reflect on themselves
some of these comments suck. i don’t care what you look like, there are still people who exist that adopt kids. but adopted or not, that’s none of your business. it is rude and prejudice to assume that a child that you do not know does not belong to the person caring for them unless you can see that they are physically or verbally harming said child. only then should you assume something like that. it’s not your job to play hero or detective. if it’s a daycare situation still not acceptable, there’s a method daycares utilize to ensure that the child is going to their parent or guardian, etc. and if they are not utilizing that method then they should not be operating or caring for children. it’s just so rude and disrespectful and ignorant and parents should be offended by it and in turn educate people to behave otherwise. if it’s a very obvious difference and you sense that the child is in danger then there’s a way to go about that. 1/2
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