Out of control

My 3.5 year old is out of control. I can’t seem to get her to listen or respect us. We just had our second in January, and I know that part of her acting out is the baby. But, it’s more than that. We’re to the point that it’s becoming too much for me to handle and my mental health is suffering.
We had to pull her from daycare because we were worried about possible abuse, which threw her off her schedule. I didn’t think it would cause this many issues.
She screams and yells at me to the point where the only way to make her stop is to put her in timeout.
She is crying and fake crying all day everyday and I know you’re supposed to ignore tantrums, but we can’t because it’s affecting the baby’s ability to sleep.
She gets up in the middle of the night and breaks things in her room and then is up again at 4 in the morning jumping out of her bed, which is waking everyone up.
I’m at a loss. We’ve tried everything from taking toys, to timeout, to ignoring the behavior and nothing is working.
This has been constantly going on for 2 months now and I can’t deal with it anymore.
I just want my sweet baby back but it seems like it’s too late for that.

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Is she feeling an emotional disconnect from the combination of the new baby and routine disrupted? It sounds like she's begging for attention.

Something to consider: there is a difference between a tantrum and a meltdown. If she is tantruming, that's a negotiation, it's something she is in control of. A meltdown is something different. It's a fire alarm. You can't reason with it and you also can't ignore it, because it's telling you there's a problem that needs addressing. It may be an emotional problem, it may be that she needs reinforced routine and structure, boundaries - or simply to be heard. You may have to do some sleuthing to figure out what exactly is setting her off and adjust it.

We currently go through similar situations 🫣 and we don’t get a new baby. There days it’s better and there days or even weeks we don’t know how to handle it correctly. We put her in time outs and that even sometimes makes it worse. We try talking to her and explain her as much as we can. Nothing works out. She’s saying mean things sometimes and there days I just don’t want to deal with her and my husband needs to take over before I loose myself. I miss my girl my bestie so much 🥺 I hope this is just a phase

Look up BratBusters Parenting.

I’m kind of going through this now. It’s like it came out of no where.

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