Thoughts advice opinions please.

Although I understand your end completely as we to will be keeping our sons first birthday simple and intimate, I truly don’t see the harm in throwing something bigger especially if it means more to your partner. You only get one 1st birthday after all. And keep in mind that doesn’t have to be expensive to be an event 💜

Let him throw a party. Make some homemade decorations, bake your own cake, and take pictures. Baby won't remember, but they only turn one once! Let them be celebrated. You can also have intimate family time before or after, whichever feels more special to you. If you can't spring for pizza, make it a pot luck.

Our 1-year (and 2-year as well) party was literally just in a park, a table with homemade snacks and nice cans of drink, some chairs and good chats 😊

A friend of mine did similar and she added a pass-the-parcel for the kids which was pretty hilarious because most kids were under 1 and had no idea what was happening

Personally I think it's extremely immature & childish for him to say you don't have to be there...

If he wants to throw a party I'd tell him that's fine but HE can take responsibility for planning it.

My husband tried this in the past when I said I was done doing parties ("because his family expected it"). I told him he was welcome to arrange it... we haven't had parties since (outside of simple things with our friends).

Couple things here… yes he should have say… but so does OP. The child having an intimate party with parents is OP’s want and dad wants a party. Then shouldn’t there be a compromise. I don’t think it was an appropriate thing to go if OP doesn’t want party then she doesn’t have to come. That sounds like a punishment of some sort. I hope OP you can come up with a compromise. Because you are valid too.

my husband and i did something small. only had our parents, siblings, and our best friends (which was another couple). we decorated our home with a banner of our son’s monthly photos. had a small cake and that was it. it was nice and memorable.

Maybe have a compromise of like a little get to gather with family/close friends? Thats what we’re planning to do for our little ones 1st birthday x

I know this isn’t the exact same but I didn’t want to throw a birthday party for my daughter because her dad was overseas for work and missed it but his family planned something without really asking me. I was fuming and I was so mad but I took her because even though I didn’t want it, it was still her birthday and I didn’t want to be the reason she didn’t get to experience that with her family and friends.
I’m so glad I did, she had a great day and I’m so happy she did something to celebrate her first year of life.
It is still his baby as well so I think there should be some sort of compromise somewhere. Like you start the day off doing something intimate with the 3 of you and then head off to a birthday party later in the day.
Or even have a birthday party for him the week after his actual birthday.
You only get 1 first birthday party and it should be celebrated. Get a bottle of wine and celebrate yourself surviving 1 year of motherhood. there is so much to celebrate at 1 year 🥰

The best way is to set a budget for it. Tell him that he needs to find a way to make sure there is enough food and drinks for everyone; plus decor and cake. I try to make things as cheap as possible and make sandwich croissants and get a cookie platter instead of cake.