Pet loss during pregnancy

I lost my lovely 14 year old furbaby to cancer whilst pregnant at 26 weeks. It's now been a month and I've been trying to process the grief whilst also being super excited for the baby to arrive, but I'm now being filled with a bit of dread and fear at the baby's arrival. I'm really struggling with the passage of time and knowing that when I give birth, my dog, Lily, (who has been with me since I was 15!) will never meet them and will also have been gone for about 3 months.

Has anyone else dealt with this and have you got tips on how to process grief without it consuming you. The hormones are really doing a number on me, I'm barely sleeping, and it's a success if I make it through the day by only crying the once.
We do still have our other dog who has been an absolute life saver but she's very different!

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

I’m sorry for your loss, it’s never easy loosing a beloved pet so I want to offer my condolences 💐 especially at a time when you’re pregnant too. Just try to remember that your doggy was very much loved and you gave her the best life possible and she left this world knowing that! Give yourself time don’t rush the grief and the process and cry if you need to!! When your baby is bigger you could speak about your dog and show pictures. Hugs to you xxx

Avatar

aww i’m sorry 😔 rip lily 🕊️my childhood cat, nala, died while i was pregnant. she was 17 i think? we got her when i was like 2. honestly grieving wasn’t too difficult for me. we knew it was coming since she was so old and i got a bit of her ashes in a necklace that i wear pretty much always. i did accidentally take a picture of her before i realized she had passed 😬🥲i took the picture laughing to show my mom how “she looks dead” and then realized it was because she actually was 😭😭😭and i can’t get myself to delete it because it feels disrespectful to delete the last picture of her so yeah😬😭i do have that. i guess maybe the awkwardness of how she died helps it not hurt so much? or maybe i’ll have a breakdown at a cat food commercial in 10 years, who knows.

Avatar

I lost my cat when I was 32 weeks pregnant with my second, she was only 10 and was hit by a car right outside our house 😪 it was awful. I cried for weeks. We buried her in our garden and planted a rose on top of her. It helps a bit but I still miss her!

Avatar

Sorry for your loss..it's one of the worst things to have to go through 😔 my dog Bella isn't doing great she's stopped eating..we had blood test today..I think it's only a matter of time..I don't know how I'm going to cope.. I'm feeling the same my thoughts today filled a little bit with dread..xx

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Wdy think of this for a toddler to learn word construction?

I'm open to anything else to start teaching him to read and write. He's 3!

Avatar

2

9

Do men really enjoy fellatio?

Been together more than 10 years, but it's been a while since he even seemed remotely interested in me getting on my knees, or vice versa so to speak. I think it was once last year. Must be something I am doing wrong 🤔. Generally everything else in that department is great and we have two young kids with no extra support, so it's quite surprising we can't keep our hands off each other but may need to try new things. It's basically 2 positions each time with some foreplay.

Avatar

6

I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

Avatar

3

7

Naps

How is everyone doing for naps?

Little one is 9 months old and will have 2 half hour naps and one solid 1 hour - 2 hour nap a day

Then settles for night around 9pm. Wakes for a feed around 3:30 then sleeps until 6-7

Avatar

3

Vaccination advice

I’m really looking for advice and opinions on vaccines for my baby. I’m not against getting them but also just don’t feel like I know enough about them to make a decision just yet as I’ve had people say to me they don’t agree with them and they can cause issues etc… so I just want as much info as possible. What are everyone’s thoughts and experiences of vaccinating your child? I’m just interested to see everybody’s views (no judgement as I just want to know I’m doing the right thing) thank you x

Avatar

12

Stroller

Hey,

Baby is getting slightly too heavy for his travel system now.

I was just wondering want strollers people recommended. Thank you

Avatar

5

Read more on Peanut