Help

So my 3yo has been in nursery since 9 months. Has a lovely friendship group and has always loved going. He started their pre-school room around 2 weeks ago and is now with a lot more children. He’s been getting upset lately as another child has been hitting him, pushing him off his chair and taking his things. Now I spoke to the nursery to try and get some info and it seems the other child is SEN and it’s all out of the child’s control. I appreciate this and have tried to explain to my boy that it’s not intentional but he’s getting really upset and stand-offish with nursery. Doesn’t want to go, really quiet when he’s there, not eating etc. How do I explain to him that it’s not intentional? I feel it’s hard for a 3yo to understand that this other child isn’t doing it on purpose, but we’re now seeing behaviours at home towards his brothers (hitting, punching and being nasty). Any help on how we navigate would be appreciated?

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In the nicest way possible, the nursery are basically saying it’s out of their control? I think that’s crazy because surely there are ways like speaking to the parents to see how they can help the SEN child x my little boy struggled settling into the pre school room and I think it’s because the kids are a lot different and probably more intimidating

I would probably not use the word accident but maybe say that the other child does not know it's wrong and just reiterate that it's OK to be mad but not OK to hit, and follow your usual consequences still at home (we move ourselves away or take our son away from his fun for a minute or so, sit with him until he has calmed down then talk about it after). I hope the nursery are doing more than telling the child off to be honest as that probably won't do much, whether they are sen or not. Can you see whether nursery can keep them a bit more separate or keep a closer eye, to intervene before it gets physical? Behaviour like this is normal though at this age so it's hard to avoid completely in a childcare setting. We had a lot of biting at one point from one child but that has settled down now

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