Hi step mums. Hope you’re all doing well.
Just looking for advice on how you navigate your step children being ill when they come to visit. I have a baby and my SD is 6 so is alllllwaaays getting sick at school. My husbands line is ‘I have to look after her reguardless’ but I wonder if there could be a bit more flexibility when SD has a highly contagious illnesses. I seem to get every cold she has and it takes me out for weeks. The baby also gets ill as does my mum (who is almost 80 so is very vulnerable). Is it unreasonable to sometimes ask that SD comes and stays a day or so later so we don’t all get sick? It has happened this week. I am going back to work next week (after mat leave) so very anxious not to get sick. The doctor was called this time and he advised that SD stay home and not be around the baby. Which my husband now agrees with but when I suggested it before the dr was called he got angry at me and isn’t talking to me as a result. Please help! How do other family’s get through this?
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He still has a responsibility to look after his other daughter, and the time he has with her is precious, but also your brain is programmed to protect your baby so it’s really hard.
I’ve had my older step daughters when they’re ill and felt the same. we just do a bit of social distancing and I clean everything, but they’re older. It really worries me but I’m lucky and don’t really catch it.
If your SD was yours, she’d still be in your home so you kind of have to view it like that a little bit and come to a mutual agreement that works although I completely understand it’s hard!

We have an agreement that if SS is sick he stays at the house he was ill at so if it’s mums he stays there and if it is ours he stays with us. If he’s sick at mums we just make the time back and take him longer next time. We also agree that if our kids are sick as won’t come over so it doesn’t spread. When I was pregnant the first time ss gave me Covid twice, one time I was really ill and was off work for a month, once my son was born I really put my foot down! I get dad has an obligation but also why spread it about if it’s preventable, if they are too ill to go to nursery or school they are too ill to come to us

BM has purposely stopped telling us when SD is poorly before pick up since our baby was born. I imagine for this exact reason 🙄 luckily my partner is very supportive and we tried to keep SD away from baby as much as possible when she was poorly. When she was really poorly he took her for a sleep over at grandparents house. We both agree it's completely unfair for a newborn to be exposed to colds/flus if we can avoid it.
Now our baby is nearly 2 and at nursery so one of them permanently has a cold 🫠

With us it depends on the illness a cold, cough etc everyone still mixes but for things like d&v, chicken pox, high temperatures we stay separate to stop the spread to other children.
It’s hard because if she lived with you then she would be there regardless of illness x