Why do people tell people who don’t want kids to have them?

Don’t get me wrong, I love my baby with all my heart. He was a ‘by chance’ baby, I had the copper coil when I got pregnant and had previously thought I never wanted kids. But I love him with all my heart and there is nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for him! He turned a career driven woman into a mum who just wants to be there for him as a SAHM.

But this shit is hard! And while I wouldn’t change a thing now….i still know that my life prior was so much easier. I didn’t know this love, so I wasn’t missing this love. It’s something that people who aren’t parents and don’t want to be could never comprehend. Therefore….my brother for example, really doesn’t want kids! But recently got in a new relationship. I told him don’t do it 😂 it’s hard! But most parents tell others who don’t want kids to do it. Can I ask why? Have they forgotten how easy life was before?

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My husband described it as a cult 😂 I got asked if I was planning to have them (then nagged to have them when I was non committal in my response) SO MUCH. Even by acquaintances. I always found it annoying but when we actually started TTC it became painful as well as annoying - because we tried for years and eventually had to go through IVF. So I was stuck between pretending I didn't want kids/wasn't bothered yet then having to justify that decision and actually telling people we were struggling which I didn't want to do either. Not having kids is a valid life choice and it's weird how pushy some people are about it.

My sister and my SIL will never have kids and I honestly don’t think anyone’s ever had an issue or comment about it except for maybe a very very old grandmother with like 12 kids haha 😂 I think it’s old fashioned ideals. “Women must have kids blah blah” on my husbands side we will probably be the only ones with kids unless my BIL has an “accident” their mom has no issue with this.

I would never push it on anyone to have kids, but if my brother asked me for an opinion, I'd say 100% yes go for it, they bring so much joy to my life l, yeah it's not easy, but the good days outweigh the bad by a mile they're adorable, kind and funny and I still have a social life just nonwhere near as much as I used to but I'm content with that.

Also, everyone experience is different. How old is your child and do you have plenty of help?

I think people feel like the love for a child is so big that they don't understand how anyone wouldn't want that in their life.
But nothing made me believe more that people who don't want kids shouldn't have them than having a kid.
I wanted a baby, both of my pregnancies have been planned and expected, but its still hard.

I don’t get it either!!!!

in our community

Baby #2??

I really want baby number 2 and am thinking of doing it via IUI as a solo mama!
Has anyone had any experiences with it 👀

One and done… or not?

32ftm. I’m starting to feel so much pressure to have another baby soon as I wean from breastfeeding so they can be close in age and be friends, but I don’t feel ready for pregnancy and newborn trenches again 😭 my husband and I are all we’ve got. Having just one baby without a village has been really tough. Am I being unrealistic wanting another one soon?

I'm so not meant to be a mother.

My kids won't listen to me get into stuff when they know they aren't supposed to. Telling me no all the time. Only listen to their dad. Laughs when I correct them. I spend most of my time yelling at them because they don't want to listen to me at all. My husband said that I shouldn't have kids. And I am believing him on it. I was never meant to be a mother now. I won't hurt my kids I just want to disappear and make everyone else's lives better without me.

Tests

So I had a blood test at the drs bc I keep getting positive tests when the blood test was negative what could this mean? Hubby says the tests are negative and said he can’t see anything. Negative image down below.

Am I pregnant?

I lightly spotted almost 5 days ago, which is not common for me before my period.
My period was supposed to come today. I should have tested in the morning but its 5:30pm.
Is there a second line??

Anyone have this happen before?

We were not trying to conceive, used protection and had sex on week 2 of my cycle (accidentally on my peak ovulation day). Week 3 we had Flu A. Week 4 my period did not come (it’s very regular). I tested and it was negative (2 different brands).
What should have been week 2 of my next cycle (now 6 weeks post last period), I had light red/ pink spotting for one day when I wiped. The following week, I tested again, still negative, but this time almost all the dye was in the negative space, which I’ve never seen happen before. The area where it shows one horizontal line for negative and a plus sign for positive, the horizontal line was super faded at the 3 minute mark, and the negative vertical line in the next window was VERY dark. Now I’m on week 8 of all this, period did not show up yesterday. Nothing in my life has changed (no additional stress, no other illness, no changes in diet or exercise, etc).

Has anyone gone through this and NOT been pregnant? I’m super nervous as we thought we were done having kids.

PS. I know I should go get a blood test, does anyone know if urgent care will do that? I’m past being convinced by a pee test.