4 year old behaviour at nursery

I’m worried about my 4 year old at her school nursery.
The teacher has said she can be quite defiant for example she refused to put her coat on last week when asked but did it the 2nd time.
When other children push her or hit her she will do it back which I know isn’t the right thing to do.
I’ve spoken to her about it and making good choices.
It sounds like the teacher is constantly putting the children into time out for things which might be completely normal for this age I don’t know! 🤷🏻‍♀️
She has said she will update me on a Friday now of how her week has been I just feel worried picking her up and feel like the teacher just sees the negative things that my child does.
She rarely will tell me anything good that she has done.
My child has never hit or hurt another child outside of school and she behaves well at home most of the time!
Is this normal 4 year old behaviour? Thanks in advance. X

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It sounds completely normal to me. My 4 yo sounds the exact same. I wouldn't worry but I would be annoyed at the teacher complaining about it. Like the coat thing seems a bit extreme that's really not a big deal at all. X

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My 4 year old daughter started pulling the same just over 2 w ago. Shes hyper intelligent. To some, i am considered a strict parent so i didn’t mind the time outs. After a week and a half the behaviour completely stopped. It was odd. But i do believe children need boundaries.( my kids certainly do). Defiance is testing those boundaries. Yes, its probably normal developmental behaviour however you get to choose the trajectory.

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He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
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When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
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Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

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Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
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