Fiancé won’t talk to baby

Am I being dramatic? Im 23 weeks and my fiancé refuses to talk to the baby. He touches my belly sometimes but that’s the most he’ll do. I brought it up to him saying it’s important for him to have bonding time with baby while baby is developing but he refuses and tells me not to dictate his relationship with his child. Is this a red flag?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Yeah that’s a little weird especially if you spoke to him about it and he feels like your being judge-mental because that’s the honest truth the best time to bond is now and then the baby will know his voice and touch but if he refrains from speaking to the baby then don’t stress it’s his lost if the baby is more attached to you

I would say everyone is different and I wouldn’t consider it a red flag. Putting the pressure on to talk to your belly may make it uncomfortable for him . As parents there will be so many times of differing opinions

I want to say it’s not a red flag but my ex was the same (he wouldn’t even touch my belly) and now he’s a 4x a month type of dad so idk . :(
Pregnant with my 2nd now and my husband loves touching my belly and talking to her. He even reads to her every night.

My hubby didn’t talk much to the baby at all he didn’t have much of a bond w the baby in my belly but he’ll guard me in public and make sure no one bumps into me etc. but y’know what, we talked to EACH OTHER so much that when baby was born as soon as his daddy started talking the baby did a full 90° turn w his head to find the source 😂 he didn’t talk to baby he talked to ME. A lot. We talk so much. That baby recognised and looked for his voice and gave him a big grin and shocked him “wow can’t believe he recognised my voice, that’s incredible” he said. The bond came at birth. He did massage my belly w oil though 🥰

My husband never spoke to our first while he was in my belly (also hasn't with this one) and they have an amazing relationship now. I don't think it occurred to either of us to have him try. I would find it really uncomfortable to have him talk to my belly personally. I don't think this has to be a red flag especially if he is otherwise excited about the baby.

in our community

Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.

I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

Looking for more same age friends!!

Hi! I’m 23 and a stay at home (soon to be) mom. I have been having a tough time finding friends/women in similar circumstances to mine and would love to make some if possible! If you feel the same, let me know

Advice

Hi everyone! I honestly have 0 social queues when it comes to talking to anyone in general. I definitely have a hard time talking to other women and making new friends. I can 100% relate. I just don’t like the idea of texting or meeting up but when I do I’m like “oh this isn’t bad.” Any advice? I also have a hard time getting comfortable and just feeling judged by other women😅 I’m also 19 so maybe making a change in this now will help in the future making mom friends/friends in general. Thanks in advance!

Hard to relate to others

I feel like I struggle so much with finding people I can be myself around. Before pregnancy it was hard enough, now as I mom i feel like im never going to have a real friend. Im an "alt conservative" ive always had dyed hair and I love tattoos though I only have one for now. Im a Christian, though I tend to be uncomfortable in church because of my social anxiety and ive never had anyone to go with. A lot of conservative people get nervous to talk to me because they think im liberal so they keep me at arms length and liberal people tend to freak out and block me when they find out im conservative or they'll push me and try to make me do things im uncomfortable with. I used to just smile and fake my way through social interactions but now its so important for me to model confidence in myself to my boy. To have my bright colored hair, because its just hair its fun it doesnt hurt anyone, but to praise god.