Postpartum

Oh bless you Megan

Firstly, breathe! You have so got this.

I promise this stage doesn't last as long as you think. As the weeks go on, your little one will learn what day is vs night and that will help him settle for longer stretches at night (and his stomach size is also growing rapidly so he'll be waking up less frequently for feeds).

Please tell your local health visitor about how you're feeling - they should be able to provide support and make a referral to help with pp anxiety.

In terms of getting baby to settle, I'll throw out some things that may help - cranial osteopathy (just check the person is used to working with babies), possibly changing formula if you think this could be related to an intolerance, co-sleeping (it was the only way I could get my son to sleep - just research how to do it safely before trying).

This too shall pass. Sending you lots of strength 💚

The first couple of weeks I have been told are the hardest. Your midwife should come see you on day 5 so speak to her and ask her for some advice.
Another thing I’ve heard is some babies are so scrunched up in the womb they need some manipulation, it may be worth finding a chiropractor near you that does babies aswell to see if that helps.
Xx

I feel you I dread night time

Aww bless your heart. You are only 3 days PP. Baby isn't used to being here and just needs time to adjust. I know its difficult when you are overstimulated and sleep deprived but give yourself grace and just take each step as it comes. Get your partner to help as much as possible and do what you need to survive the first couple of weeks, and then hopefully things will get better

The newborn stage ain’t called the trenches for nothing - it is sooo hard but just take it one day at a time. One hour at a time if you need.

Your baby will hopefully learn to settle with time and like someone else has said feed less frequently- so you will sleep again! The first few weeks are just a killer.

I agree with what others have said- please reach out to your midwife and health visitor about how you are feeling so you can be connected to supportive services.

Some things that may help with settling him in the cot would be to wear/use his blanket so it smells of you. Or you could even use a worn large T-shirt as a bedsheet (put the matress inside and make sure everything is firmly tucked in.)
The bassinet may feel cold so try warming it a little with a hot water bottle before you put him down.
If you are open to it look at co-sleeping, the lullaby trust have lots of info on safe sleeping for babies.

I hope something works and you can get some support soon. Xx

Megan, I am sorry you are going through these feelings. You are not useless at all. This is a very common experience for new moms.
Have you tried focusing on co-regulation? If you are well rested and calm, your baby will likely feel a calmer energy.
Although you have little time for yourself, I encourage you to be very intentional about this time.
Find things that bring you joy and that help to regulate your nervous system.
Sometimes you have to do a general check of baby’s basic needs and take a step away. Make sure baby is well fed, warm and diaper is changed. Then step away to take deep breaths, complete a quick task or to just let your mind relax for a bit.
Finally, having an outlet to talk about how you feel is important. Consider getting counselling/ therapy.

Are you using a next to me crib? Highly recommend x

Honestly the first month was so hard as mine wouldn’t settle in her crib either. She just wanted to sleep on us, so we allowed it. We did 6 hours on and then 6 hours off at night. From 2 months she’s been sleeping in her cot. Every now and again if she’s unsettled I bring her in the bed with me (ie from vaccines or unwell) and I have breathing pad sensors from BabySense and they just put your mind at ease. Even when she was sleeping well, I wasn’t. The first night I have the sensors I slept for 5 hours uninterrupted!
Your emotions and hormones are also at the highest they’ll ever be. Be patient with yourself.
PPA is really hard and can lead to PPD if untreated but you’ve got this. I know it’s hard now but you do! X

Its so hard. I remember at that stage literally taking it hour by hour. Everyone said day by day but no way, it was cycle by cycle for me ie - nap, pump, feed, etc etc. I had to breathe through all the motions. Its fucking hard man. I just kept telling myself it won't last forever, just get 3 hours sleep, get to when dad take over, etc. Breathing through it and reminding myself that I CAN DO IT and I was determined to do it for my baby.
I used to get the sunset scaries too - what helped was talking it through with my partner. Also just asking myself, okay what's the worse that can happen? Anything that happens i can deal with. I stayed up watching TV for hours while she slept on me and i made it. Fed her, nappy, and I did it. Remind yourself of how much you've already done and you can keep going it.
If someone had told me during newborn stage that one day i'd get more than 3 hours sleep i would never have believed it. I genuinely thought that was my life. But it does get better - honest x

Also, one thing that helped me - in very early stages my LG would only sleep on me. I used to sit on sofa with cushions around me with LG asleep on my bare chest. I'd have someone (not partner, someone who could stay awake lol) sit next to me and watch tv or read as we slept. I got the odd hour or two during the day which helped massively.
Also I think I cried everyday til about day 10, had a day off, then cried again everyday til like day 14 and I didnt have PPD, it was just the upheaval and lack of sleep!