Did I overreact?

I have had 3 c sections, recently had a wisdom teeth removal (4) to be exact and all my mom did was visit the day BEFORE and then she only sent 1 text. She has NEVER spent one full day with me and doesn’t acknowledge my achievements much. She just isn’t there when I need her to be. She claims she’s always working but she lives like 7 minutes away! she can come help with the kids so my husband can have break? we don’t ask her for much and she only sees the kids 1-2 a month. She also didn’t visit with my last c section. I told her that she should’ve gotten the abortion when she had the chance with me because why would you have me and neglect me emotionally? To not actually give me a present father in my life. I am very angry all she does is disappoint me. She only wants to show up for certain people in the family and I just want to grab her and shake her and ask her why can’t she be a good present mother?

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I have done everything I was supposed to do I got the 4.0 Gpa, Graduating college, multiple certifications and licenses under my name, I wasn’t a teenage mom. I’m married, I have a nice 4+ bedroom house. and all my mom had ever done is treat me like a friend and not a daughter! I don’t have many memories with her but I remember she drove us into a ditch when she was fighting with her bf, made cupcakes for my class, we moved like every year, and she struggled a lot. I really think I am going to go to her grave and grieve without any emotion because the lack of involvement she has had in my life.

I don't have advice, I just wanted to say I relate a lot to this. For me, accepting my mom and what she's capable of offering has helped a lot. Learning about her trauma (second/third hand, I've never spoken directly with her about a lot of things) and why she's reacted the way she has doesn't excuse what she did, but having an explanation gave me some peace.

She's not gonna be the mom you want, she's probably never going to give you the validation or apologies you want. I've tried to let go of holding expectations for those things so that I can have some kind of relationship with the woman my mom is, not who I wish she was. I've had to mother myself in a lot of ways to get to this point

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