Feeling lonely

How do you guys maintain a relationship while taking care of a toddler? I feel like I initiate all of the plans for us to do family outings or even date nights and I’m tired of it. I feel like we’re drifting away from each other and I’m shocked that he thinks otherwise

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

Hi dear, thanks for sharing and it’s a rough time to thrive in a relationship during the baby and toddler years.

Personally, I’ve been married almost 20 years and we only started having children four years ago. I have trust issues and I had to make sure he’d be a good father lol.

We have a four-year-old a two-year-old and a one month old right now. He usually works between 10 and 12 hours a day and temporary project so we’ve been moving around a lot which is very stressful.

What’s working for me? Lately is communicating with positive energy what I want more of. I do realize that he has a lot on his mind and literally this week. I found out that ChatGPT could help me plan our family outings because it saves so much energy and time doing that type of research.

Literally go to ChatGPT, whether the application or the website and ask it to help you with this.

Avatar

For example: I asked ChatGPT “would you give me a list of toddler educational places or classes that take place in person within 40 minute drive of this address?“

In the fashion then also ask it to help you plan date nights or fun, family activities. The more specific you are with what you need the better the answers will be.

Avatar

Also I’m learning and reading about communication / relationships/ energy consciousness and it has helped me understand each other and express myself better.

It’s taken us a long time to even become aware of what the underlying issues are and so of u want ur relationship to work , it will 🤗 just be patient with urself and each other now and keep working on it 💚 with loving kindness and loving urself first so he’ll be attracted to u instead of feeling “needy” which usually repels ppl.

“Nothing is personal” also , I read that in the book 📕 “The Four Agreements “ and it changed my life for the better 💚

Avatar

Oh yeah and if either of u still drink alcohol 🍺 🍷… stop 🛑 immediately. That will lead to issues/ fights / resentments/divorce , I promise .

We’ve been 4 years sober this year and every year we get better and closer than ever before 💚

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

A very autumnal pumpkin Macaroni cheese for the whole family

With added mini soya chunks and sweetcorn

Avatar

6

7

I wanna know why are men so damn h*rny ?! 🤬

Im so frustrated because it seems like all my fiance can do is grab at my body and try to f*ck 24/7 like can they ever talk about anything else?! Its making me not want to be around him anymore.

Avatar

2

17

Am I overthinking this?

Hey! My baby is 3.5 months now and I'm absolutely loving being a mum. I'm EBF and finally feeling more confident with it. But I feel like I maybe make things so much harder than they need to be. I've never been a laid back person; I like to be organised and punctual but obviously, this goes out of the window now and I'm just finding it a bit difficult to adapt, I think.

Do you find it easy getting out the house? Going for walks with the pram? Do you just get up and get out in the car? Show up to baby classes feeling OK and like it was easy? Because I feel like getting myself ready, baby ready, bag ready and going out is quite overwhelming.

Am I overthinking this or is it actually hard?

Avatar

1

16

Not doing great the minute

Tomorrow is my last (solo) day with my baby before they start nursery next week and then I am back to work full time shortly after. To say I am struggling would be an understatement. I cannot stop crying, and I've been crying non stop for the last few weeks. I'm not ready to be away from my baby, especially 5 long days a week. My baby isn't 100% at the minute due to a lingering cold and cutting 2/3 teeth. Last settle session today before starting on Monday and I get a call to pick up early as my baby is so upset. I turn up, my baby takes one look at me and starts screaming and is so distraught, genuinely was so distressing seeing my baby like that. I just broke down on the nursery doorstep, the staff had to console me. I got home and I sobbed the hardest I think I've ever sobbed.

This isn't my first rodeo going back to work, my eldest is nearly 5 and it was of course difficult going back to work but I am struggling so much this time. When I went back full time after my first, they were cared for by my mum 5 days a week so it was easier on the both of us. I know this nursery, my first went there for over 2 years but it is just so different my baby going to nursery compared to my 2 year old. Plus, this year has flown by and I can honestly say, I have loved it so much, I don't want this period of my life to end.

And then when I am back to work, my first, who started school in September, will be in wraparound care everyday. The GUILT I am feeling over both my babies having such long days, being cared for by other people is more than I can cope with.

And to top it off, my flexible working request was rejected and I am now in the appeal process so I am going back with that added stress of going through the appeal, working alongside my manager who rejected my request and definitely won't be happy I'm appealing, whilst doing my original work pattern which is an added strain going back.

I am so run down and exhausted from all the crying and the continuous level of stress and anxiety running through my body. I am struggling to eat as I feel sick to my stomach, I can't sleep as my mind is in overtime all the time and my house is a mess as I don't want to spend a single moment these last weeks on anything that isn't spending time with my baby.

Long old post and very impressed if anyone is still here but I really needed to get that off of my chest 😭

Avatar

3

3

I’m so excited!!!

I had my job interview today and during it they were already scheduling my second interview!! I’m so freaking excited to start work again, I’ve been so stir crazy at home for the past two years😭 I love my daughter but I need a break too😬

Avatar

6

4

Screen time

How much screen time do. You allow at baseline. And how much under extenuating circumstances? My 21 month old is allowed 30-60 minutes on days when I have her the full 24 hours alone (about 2-3 days a week). But I'm really struggling. I'm sick with some sort of viral infection (though she really seems right as rain), I'm 8 months pregnant (and I'm anemic), and tbh I think I'm really struggling with depression (the exhaustion just feels completely overwhelmed. And today I finally broke and we basically watched TV just about all day. I'm feeling really bad about it but I also feel like I'm struggling to survive.

Avatar

9

Read more on Peanut