Suggestions please!

My little boy, 16 months, has always been tricky for months now to have his nappy changed but it’s actually impossible now without two of you if it’s a dirty nappy (wet ones I change him standing up and use pull ups). The only thing that will entertain him without one person holding him down is the phone which I don’t use any other time and really don’t want to use it for this either. He literally will not lie down and gets incredibly upset etc please help with suggestions that don’t involve the phone, I’m at my wits end!! X

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I'm in a similar position to you - luckily if we are out and about she's distracted enough by a new setting that we can do a nappy but at home she screams and starts gagging because she's so cross. We are having some success with using a doll to help prepare her. So we change the dolls nappy first and go through all the stages. Generally doing things slowly also helps, rather than rushing through. She seems to need time to get her head round what's happening rather than it being suddenly something that's being done to her. Narrating everything.
I say this though it's not perfect. Half of the time I have to put an episode of puffin rock on the TV to keep her calm. It's a balance - yes, excessive screen time is bad and I want her to start learning that nappy changes are not awful. But its a learning curve for me and her, and also sometimes I don't have time or energy and it keeps her cortisol levels down.
It's also giving me a kick to start potty training in a few months!

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I think its fair

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I also find it unfair that i get both kids to sleep most night, i get my toddler to sleep everyday hes home (4/5days) and i get my baby to sleep most nights with the exception of maybe twice a month as his dad struggless then about 95% of his thru the day naps.
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I keep having issues with him not feeling the wet from baby being sick or weeing himself or being able to smell it do about 98% of the time hes given to me i have to clean him up n change him.
Including at night, we agreed my partner would change nappies (1 a night at 5am) while i feed (2,4,5,6:30) but every night when i get him hes pissed through and my partner gets annoyed when i wake him up n moan about it.
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