How to deal with toxic in-laws

So my parters family have been pretty awful since I gave birth, we had a decent relationship with his siblings but since we had our baby last year they have changed. Me and my parter have racked our brains trying to understand where this change has come from and the only person we can think this stems from is his mam. She is constantly on at us to take our little one out on her own but we do not trust her to have him. This is from experiences his siblings have told us about with their children. And to be honest she has been vile to me since me and my partner got together so why would we want her watching our little one 🤣. Despite all of this, I remain pleasant with her and the rest of the family. Although it can be awkward with her, I try so hard to put on a brave face so my little one can still have a relationship with his Grandma.

His family have decided to book a holiday secretly and we have just found out about it and we haven’t been invited. My partner is livid, more so because of our little one missing out. I do not know how to deal with it, because this is the cherry on top of years of being treated like an outsider.

My partner has said he is done, but we still have not actually been told about this holiday we found out by accident. Do we confront it before they go? Do we wait for them to tell us? I just feel like I have wasted so much time with them trying to fix our relationship and have a good relationship with his mam. To me it seems like there will never be a good relationship with them.

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I’m going through a similar issue. My husbands mom ruined my baby shower after I asked her not to bring fish and I was nauseous the whole time, then she told my husband that I embarrassed her. Now his siblings don’t talk to me and we were all good days before the shower happened. It sucks it really does, but I’ve been trying to think positive about my little family. I feel like if you try to force or confront it can just drive a bigger wedge and I also think people will come around when they think logically and not with their feelings. But these are only my thoughts since I’m also in the same boat, I’m about 7 months pregnant just trying to make it to birth at this point. I hope everything goes well on your end and try not to stress to much as motherhood is already stressful itself.

Me personally, I wouldn’t mention it. Given the history with the in-laws, it’s probably not worth opening that door. I wouldn’t want to give them the upper hand or have them turn it into “oh look who’s starting.” I’d just leave it alone and not react, whether they bring it up or post about it. If anything, they might be expecting a reaction so I wouldn’t give them one 😊

you don’t deal with them, your husband does.

in our community

Was she wrong for ignoring us?

We celebrated Eid as well as my baby’s first birthday on Friday at my in laws house. When we were there, some family friends of my husband also came. He calls them his uncle and he came with her daughter who is 27. We have met a handful of times, and they came to our wedding as well. My husband and I have 2 kids. When his uncle and daughter came, she greeted everyone accept myself and the kids. She ignored us the entire time and when she left she didn’t say bye to us either. She was also off with my husband as well. When I asked my husband he thinks she’s behaving like this because he used to visit them almost every day and since we got married and had kids he hasn’t. Our kids are 3 and 1, and the last 2 years has been so intense. Difficult pregnancy and postpartum plus a baby with colic. Is she wrong for being rude to us like this or is it my husband’s fault ? Also why is it always the woman that gets blamed, I almost feel like she’s blaming me for him not coming to visit…

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I think half my problem as well it maybe I don’t eat the most nutritious breakfast and lunch 😂 I never cooked lunches from scratch but I also have a Velcro baby so cooking in itself is a mission

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MIL Rant

My husband and I are both working parents but I am our son’s primary parent. However, when we see or talk to my MIL and she asks questions about the baby, she only looks to my husband for answers. I love my husband and he is an excellent dad, but most of the time, he just looks at me to answer because he doesn’t know. My MIL will continue staring at my husband while I answer her question and almost act like I didn’t say anything until he repeats exactly what I just said.

She also likes to pretend she doesn’t hear me when I tell her to give me my son when he cries or when he needs changed. She’s pissed that in large group settings I prefer to hold my son and told my husband that I need to learn to share. Ma’am, he’s my baby. Not a toy.

I told my husband he should talk to her before I do because I won’t be as nice. He just keeps telling me that she means well.

need advice

need advice

i’m 3months postpartum.
my bump is on the way down but still there and feels hard.
i’m trying to be healthier & exercise..
but my husband keeps treating me!
coming home with mcdonald’s i didn’t ask for or sweet treats on shopping.

i’ve told him i didn’t ask for it and I’m trying to lose weight. it starts an argument and he tells me i’m ungrateful.. even though i never ask for mcdonald’s . he gets all grumpy and says i am ungrateful because i didn’t want him to bring home coffee or treats. i don’t ask for it

i feel like he doesn’t want me to look nice or start to have my life back again

*EDIT* he also cooks and serves my meals up..waayyyy too high! the bowl is literally over flowing. how can i tell him about portion control?