please help me
my partner and I haven’t been getting along well since having a baby five months postpartum and he said something today that I think summed everything up well, as much as I hate it and wish he didn’t feel that way.
He said after having a baby it’s common for the guys to be stressed and focusing on providing and work and the woman to be taking care of the baby and feeling on the outside. And that I’m just not handling it well.
I know he could be a better partner, but I do feel that that is the issue. I really don’t know how to handle it because I don’t have friends or a life outside ofthis house. How do you guys deal with that? I just feel like my relationship went dry and all I do is take care of the baby and he doesn’t put any effort. He actually went completely cold on me and distances himself knowing how much love would mean. It definitely brought out the worst side of him.
And the thing is, there was a week where I was focusing on myself and being more happy with or without him, and I saw a slight positive change in him
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That's not just a you problem then. If he's acting that way towards you and you feel like he's not putting any effort in then even if it's going to cause a fight you need to have a real conversation with him about it. You can't have a good relationship with someone if you can't be real with them. Of course you're not happy if he never shows you any love and doesn't put effort in. It's not totally your responsibility to carry everything
Has he picked up a second job or extra hours or something?
I asked because a lot of men will act like they're so stressed trying to provide for the family, when in reality their job description/work hours havent changed very much, if at all. My husband tried to pull that with me and I was like what has actually changed for you? Meanwhile my "work load" and day to day responsibilities have changed drastically.
Even if he IS stressed about work, he should still be able to help with the baby enough to allow you to at least have some time to yourself. Maybe have a hobby outside the house or go make friends or whatever you'd like.
You'd know the situation better than me of course, but I just worry that him saying this to you is basically trying to convince you that it's normal for you to be doing everything baby related
While he coasts by doing the bare minimum. Aside from working, which he'd be doing without a baby anyways.
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