Nursery fund process

Can anyone please explain how does the nursery fund process work. I'm supposed to return to work mid September and I'm really stressed about what to do. When should I start looking for nurseries and how does the funding from the government works. I would appreciate if someone could explain in details.

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When does your lo turn 9 months ?

Example: my lo turned 9 months September 2025 and she was starting with a childminder, therefore we didn’t get funding until January 2026.
The term they turn 9 months in is when you get the funding. So I had to pay for her care from September until December.

When to start looking? Asap.
Depends on your location, offering of nurseries. Get in contact with them and they usually offer a visit to the nursery for you to see.
It’s good to find out if they accept funding ( most places do)

As above, and I do think you really need to look ASAP, as assuming that you will be returning to work when you LO is around a year, that’s when ratios are lower for staff:babies and so spaces often go v quickly (I work with nurseries and most baby places are allocated whilst the parent is still pregnant). If no nursery space available, as long as a childminder is OFSTED registered, you can use the funding there.

I think you have to apply online but it’s the term after they turn 9 months x

Hi
My baby is 5mo born october and we are looking already. He turns 9 months june or july so will havr funding for September however if he turned 9 months in october then would only be eligable from january! As above start looking- the places we looked have 1/2 spaces left. Some childminders only take small amount of kids too x

Funding wise if you are retuning to work for more than 15 hours a week I think it is you should qualify for 30 funded hours of childcare at either a nursery or childminder. This kicks in from the term after they turn 9 months. There are 3 terms through the year, January, April and September. You need to have retuned to work within a month of your funding starting - or been back sooner to qualify for it.

You can apply for the funding after baby is 6 months I think. I have my daughter’s stuff all set up already so that when she starts in a few weeks I have the codes. You can have the tax free childcare account and working parents code and they can sit dormant until you need them.

in our community

Who’s in the wrong?

Adults keep a firearm hidden in there dresser. Kid knows there’s a firearm in there, adults tell him to not touch it. Kid still grabs firearm. Adults scold the kid for disobeying.

WHO SCOLDS THE ADULTS???

Don’t have firearms unless you’re taking the proper precautions!!!!!!!

Fucking dumb fucks.

Finances - how do you share these?

Curious to know what others do in terms of shared finances - mortgage, bills etc. My husband and I have always done everything 50/50 but since having our daughter and me returning to work on reduced hours, my salary has reduced and with the cost of living I'm finding it hard to save.

For context, my husband earns almost double what I do, and I'm wondering now if we should be managing shared finances in a way that's more proportionate to our earnings e.g. he puts in more as he earns more.

Is this the norm? I'm so curious as to what other couples do, but don't feel I could ask this to my friends and people I know personally as I find talking about money so uncomfortable! 😅

Online School until your child is older?

Hey guys! Had a thought wanted to see what you all thought. So I have a 4 year old boy. I’m sure for the moms that choose to wait are getting the same comments. People ask me when or why my son isn’t in pre school. I get tired of explaining that either the schedule doesn’t work for us for free pre K. (I live in California, USA) And the fact that I also feel like my son is emotionally and physically okay and doesn’t need pre k as he is mentally and emotionally at his developmental stages.

Outside of that more and more if you stop to think public and even some semi private/charter they are just not made for a single and a double parent working house hold. There’s no way you can drop your kid off at school get to work on time and not get in trouble for being late to one or the other.

I’m kind of considering online school with course work while my son is still small. Then maybe when he’s older let him enroll in public school when he can go to school and go home. It would be great since I wouldn’t have to deal with planning family trips and being able to go on vacations would be excellent. It does occur to me though that my son may feel like he doesn’t have friends though. I would also need to find a good online school that doesn’t cost much if I do have to pay out of pocket. I wanted to know what you all think though.

I feel broken

My BD came in the room while I was at work (I work at home) today and said he’s going to his friends house to get some weed. I didn’t think anything of it. I got off and notice he still wasn’t back. It was like 2.5 hrs later. Something told me to call him and he didn’t answer. I called him like 2-3 more times. He still didn’t. Which is weird. Something else told me to check his call log. I looked up some of the numbers from the last few days and they were connected to prostitutes. I was sick! I was so mad. These were from Tuesday! Then when he came back something told me to look again and it updated to more recent calls and there was one right after he left the house. I felt so sick to my stomach! Like Jesus. If you want to do that be alone and don’t endanger my health! He then got mad when I brought it to him and fought my 18 yr old son and I. I have the biggest headache and don’t even want to tell anyone I know so I’m venting here.

Can anyone relate? My husband seems to hate on me a lot, idk if he’s jealous or wants me to struggle or what, but it’s weird. I’ll explain below.

So if I’m unable to go to the gym for months because of me struggling with our child, he will make me feel bad for not going saying we should just cancel the membership because we’re wasting money. But then if I do end up going consistently he seems slightly jealous sometimes and will question how long I’m there for so he can complain about how he can’t get to the gym enough.

Then the first time I signed up for school he made me quit right before classes began and moved us states away for “various reasons like him missing his family” which was an issue before I signed up for school (him missing his family) but why make me quit right before school and not just move after? He claimed he couldn’t handle being away from them any longer and him and I weren’t getting a long post birth

Then the second time I told him I was planning to pursue my education online he didn’t seem happy for me.

I read a 400 page book in a few days and was so proud and then he was like oh that’s why the house hasn’t been cleaned and told me to read less and clean more.

Then if I can’t understand something he’s trying to explain to me I tell him it’s ok babe I can try to look it up on YouTube or google and he will tell me that if I can’t understand how to fix something from him trying to explain it then there’s no way I can figure it out and tells me good luck in a condescending way.

He’s literally told me before it’s ok if mothers struggle because that’s normal.

I feel like maybe he’s really insecure, but how can a man be so insecure to the point that he’s hating on the own mother of his child? I don’t understand. When ppl are bettering themselves I feel so happy for them. And I only felt a little jealous of this one girl for starting a business one time and that’s only because she was so mean to me for years, but I’ve let it go and I’m actually really happy for her now. So maybe my man slightly hates me? Idk….

He wants to me to look better without actually saying it’s not important to him if I take a shower first thing in the morning and do my makeup (so I have enough time to clean the house) but will say things as casually & passive aggressively as possible to encourage me to exercise or else couples might not want to stay with their partner who doesn’t take care of themselves.

But I feel like he prefers me struggling. He seems like he could be a narcissist and he’s definitely somewhat sexist because of his culture. But it seems like maybe he always has to be the hero or righteous, perfect person that has all of the power.

Lost my shirt and had a meltdown

Today started out completely fine, and then somehow I just completely snapped. My 12-month-old refused to nap for TWO HOURS, and I was with her the entire time. Eventually I gave up trying to get her to sleep and just lay there exhausted while she climbed all over me. My husband still wasn’t home from work, and when he finally got home, I left without even saying goodbye because I desperately needed to get out for a minute. I went to get fast food, thinking I’d come back and we could all eat together. I was gone maybe 30 minutes, and when I came back, my husband had gotten her to sleep on his chest, but he hadn’t changed her diaper, made dinner, or really done anything else. I know he got her to sleep, but in that moment I just felt like, “So I’m still responsible for everything?”

And I completely lost it. I yelled in front of my baby, and I feel awful about that. I’m with her basically every second of every day, and I feel like I never get to be alone or completely “off.” Afterward I ended up binge-eating and drank almost half a gallon of tea, and now my stomach hurts terribly. I’m honestly embarrassed by the whole thing because just this morning everything was fine. I don’t even know what happened to me, it felt like I suddenly hit a wall and had absolutely nothing left. I feel terribly guilty because my baby isn’t even a difficult one, the main problem is that I don’t have a village whatsoever.

Has anyone else ever had a day where you went from feeling completely fine to just being done? What did it look like for you?