How did you know you chose right? Long post sorry

My bd and I have been together for almost 3 years. We have a 16 month old daughter and another one due in a couple of weeks.

Our entire relationship has been so rocky and not really great. The week I was going to break up him two little lines popped up in a test. I figured that’s a sign to stay and work things out. That pregnancy he treated me decently. Postpartum was DREADFUL, I had PPD, no helpful village around they just cared to hold the baby so I could sleep or shower but in all honesty I wanted conv even if it was small talk or someone to sit beside me and watch tv or help with household chores/things since I had an emergency c-section so getting around was so painful and I wasn’t able to really take bath which was all I heard PP “go take a bath I have her.” (Well I can’t submerge water for 6 to 8 weeks doctors orders and I couldn’t stand long enough to shower alone). I gained really bad anxiety on top of that. I couldn’t even bond with my daughter (which is now crazy to think/look back on since she only wants me). I went back to work after 4 weeks (forced my boss not by choice couldn’t say no since my boss was my mom’s best friend). I cried for hours in bed in the evenings when my bd would get home and look after her. That continued for MONTHS. I never gained my sex drive back only got pregnant again because non-latex condoms are expensive and birth control fucks with my mental and physical health/state plus age requested sex since we haven’t since the birth of our daughter (she was close to 8 months old at the time) I respectfully said “I don’t know” he got annoyed and complained that we hadn’t fucked in so long so I rolled my eyes and said “whatever” and laid down I was too tired to fight/argue anymore that day.

BOOM 5 weeks later two lines on a test… he rushed to put a stupid ring on my fucking finger to avoid guilt and shame from his side. But honestly, this whole pregnancy I have felt so alone, and we have fought so much more. All he does is sleep after work hardly helps me with anything around the house or anything with our daughter. After one specific fight, I started to make a plan to leave him. I have followed through with that plan. The ultimate goal is to leave him but for me to be smart about this had the word it as I need time and space to think this through.

It’s so challenging because he’s making all these promises that he has made before, but I don’t believe them, but he tells me that this time he’s actually gonna go through with them. All of this is so psychological mindfucking because he’s so mean over text and then when we’re in person together, he looks at me like he’s a lost puppy and begs me every single chance he can to come back home. I’m waiting for my counselor to be back in office this week during our session in order to be able to go over a plan properly how to leave him and suggest co-parenting for now.

It’s like he’s mean over text and then we see each other for a split second so he can spend time with our daughter during that time he’s sweet and begs me to take him back and promising things will be different then later that night he’ll text me mean or continues to beg me to come home….

I feel like I’m choosing the right path but then also sometimes I question it….

in our community

Ideas wake windows

My little girl is 3 months I’m running out of ideas to do while she’s awake she’s very aware can grab toys put in mouth so she’s got a mat - I do tummy time for 5 mins here and there - I show her books and teddies 😂 I’m slowly losing the will to live 😂 anything else we can add? 😂 I’ve shown her the house enough times too 😂 just gimme some cool ideas!!!! Thank you ladies

Irritated

Am I the only mom who gets irritated slightly when their partner leaves them with the baby? It’s like dang having that freedom to just get up and go whenever you want must be nice. And my partner doesn’t leave the house often so I understand his need to get out I need to get out too but he doesn’t have to worry about the baby or the weather or anything else when he wants to get out. I have to consider so much just to even go outside I’m kinda jealous not gonna lie but I don’t want to get upset at him either everytime he leaves. Anybody else deal with this?

20 month old tantrums are killing me off...

I've done something I very rarely do and dropped my toddler off at my mum's for an hour to go and have a coffee alone. Sleep regression and teething and my periods due is turning me into a pressure cooker of anger atm. It's at the point where we're having 5+ tantrums before breakfast nowadays. One because he doesn't want his morning nappy changed and dressed for the day. Then he doesn't want daddy to go for a shower, he wants him to read books with him. Then because he wants to go downstairs while I'm trying to get dressed and quickly do my hair...then because I wouldn't let him watch teletubbies...then because I said he can't go outside into the wet garden with no jumper or shoes and socks...😭😭
I am... exhausted....
I use half an hour of teletubbies most mornings to allow myself peace to get the cleaning up and prep for the day done but I think I'll have to just say no TV at all anymore because of his behaviour over it. When does it get a tiny bit easier or have I just got an angry little boy....

Rant sons dad

Hey ladies,

So I separated from my LB dad around 6 months ago.

Since our LB was born it was the beginning of the end for us. I tried so hard for 18 months to make it work, but I realised I was the only person trying.

There is a million reasons I ended the relationship but the main ones been he massively let me down during my postnatal depression, lack of empathy and understanding, never felt heard, selfish and honestly a man child.

Since we separated he sees his son every Sunday 10-4 at his mums. Its his mum that looks after him. His mum has even told me she doesn't trust him alone with him, as he struggles to focus on more than one thing.

It is clear my son dad has additional needs (autism) and I think this makes it harder for him to be a dad. It is clear he really struggles with this but what gets me more is he doesn't try.

Whenever I try and communicate about our son he makes it about our relationship. I know he loves our son, but honestly his lack of actions does not show this.

Every couple of months, he also brings up the relationship agsin and its honestly all just draining.

All I want is for him to step up for his son and be a dad, and I feel like im banging my head against a brick wall.

Suggestions or advice appreciated

Clean People products

Does anyone in here use Clean People products (laundry detergent, dishwasher pods, etc)? OR what are your favorite clean/natural cleaning products?

Overwhelmed

At this point I feel like a single parent. My significant other helps very little. I’m the one who clothes her, change her diaper, feeds her, puts her to bed…he complains he works 10 hours a day to support us and I understand that but I’m screaming for freaking help sometimes. I’m 18 weeks pregnant with our second baby and I handle our daughter 24/7 while he gets to sleep, play his game and go freaking smoke MJ. I feel so stressed, overwhelmed, overstimulated and exhausted. Am I a horrible person to ask for a little help from him??? He makes me feel horrible for even asking him for help or to even watch her for 20 minutes so I can get a damn shower…..I’m so so freaking lost and tired….i feel like nothing is going to change when I have our next baby in August…..