Wtf- husband edition

I just read your entire post, I am sorry and I hope you’re able to let these feelings come up and then release them so you can get some sleep 💙 when it’s a neutral time, talk to him about what it means for you to ask him for help and that for you to do so means you really really need the break and for him to do whatever it takes to protect that much needed rest and reset for you. Also, if I had a dollar for every time I am somehow the only one awake 🫥 my son is the same age too, other moms are up last and needing of sleep the most too.

I read, heard and felt what you were feeling. I’d recommend many conversations with husband.

One of which that my husband and I have had is that my husband sleeps in a different room. He has no regard for his actions while sleeping in the room with baby and he left willingly for baby and myself.
Another being getting your recommendations are tried and true because of the time put in to know them so trying new things isn’t the time when you’re stepping in temporarily.

I started actually waking my husband up during the night even if it was just going in the living room to grab something, just so he would wake up and feel the concept of waking up multiple times because he then became more focused on what to do to ensure baby slept good.

I’d be livid too and don’t avoid these and other aspects needed in that convo or the frustration and the lack of sleep won’t go away.

I second the notion of waking husband up to experience the impact sleep deprivation has on you, just for a night or two - they quickly get on board then 🥲 mine was the same with our first, now we have our second and he deals with our toddler at night ( as I’m with the baby ) who wakes once maybe twice every night and you should see how seriously he takes bedtime and routines now 🫣

Just sending you some love and some wtf to your husband xx

I feel this. It feels like my husband lives a single life where he gets to be out (work, trainings for work, and leisure) whenever he wants. This can be the majority of 7 days a week. It's frustrating that if I want to go out and do something, I have to coordinate with him or find someone to watch him. When he makes plans, he assumes I don't have any and that I'll take care of our child.

Sending you hugs!! You are heard and I hope things get better!!

I'm so sorry hun 😞 He's using what's called weaponized incompetence. He most likely didn't really want to help. I'd sit down and have a serious talk with him.

Oh honey! Big hugs to you! I’m the primary care taker of our 7month old too and honestly there has been some ‘Wtf’ moments too in my life and definitely had my fair share of cries! I’m sure your communication is good, but I’ve learn to communicate my NEEDS and ensure my husband doesn’t think it just a ‘want’ but rather ‘you NEED to do xyz’. Being FTM we are so possessive and protective over our babies, but sometimes we just got to hand them over to their fathers and let them figure it out! Personally, I’d rather do the night shift as I think it’s easier on EVERYONE (besides the earlier days - I would express and keep bottles in the fridge because my body just needed to rejuvenate). My baby is 7m and only walking about 1-2/night which isn’t too bad but I literally go to bed at 7:30/8 with her and always have about 2hrs ‘me time’ during the day where I go for a walk or whatever. I hope everything works out for you hun x

This sucks, I’ve been there. The first time I got real sleep post-baby is when my ex moved out, as he snored too.

I know you just wanted to vent, but I would stop sleeping in the same room as your husband (forever) so you can get some real sleep—especially since he snores. It’s unnatural for two people to sleep in the same room/bed all the time, as no two people have the same sleep patterns/comfortability. You need your sleep! Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

It sounds like your husband isn’t required to be an equitable parent, as he’s only done bath time once in 5 months? That’s unacceptable. Now he’s used to half-assing everything. Letting a baby cry for 45 minutes even when given proper instruction on calming him down is unacceptable. Like said, he’s using weaponized incompetence. Talking to him (again) shouldn’t result in an argument, but you’ve already told him what you need and he’s not listening bc he doesn’t feel like he has to. Best wishes. ❤️