Am I in the wrong or my husband?

I want to start by saying that last year my baby was only about 4 months old, and we didn’t even go to my parents’ house for Easter. We went to his family’s celebration and then went straight home.

This year, it’s turned into a big argument. He wants to go to his family’s church—which I’ve never been to, and he hasn’t even gone to in the four years we’ve been together. I want to go to church with my sister and her husband, grab lunch with them afterward, go home so our toddler can take her nap, and then go to his family’s Easter, followed by my family’s.

He’s completely against that plan. He wants to either skip our toddler’s nap so we can be “on time” for his family’s Easter, or make me choose between going to church with my sister or going out to eat after—I can’t do both.

His family’s Easter is from 11–1, which is exactly during our toddler’s nap time. They’ve even been understanding and offered to do another egg hunt after her nap or whenever we arrive. But he’s still not willing to compromise.

Instead, he wants to go to his family’s church, skip going out to eat, put our toddler down an hour later than usual—or skip her nap entirely—and then go to his family’s Easter.

I feel like I’m the one trying to compromise so we can spend time with both sides of the family this year, especially mine.

Am I wrong here, or is he being unreasonable?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

He can go to his family's Easter then and you and your toddler can go with your sister. Baby would be napping during the visit anyway and he's the only one being unreasonable

Avatar

He goes to his church and you go to yours. He can meet you guys for lunch after or whenever. I would personally be okay with moving nap for the day, but I know some kids can’t function without it being on time

Avatar

Your idea sounds fair…. both families get to spend time and see baby.

Avatar

I would be so annoyed. You only saw his family last year so your family should be the priority this year. Even so, you are willing to compromise and came up with a great solution and he's being a brat. I agree with other comments, you go to your church and he goes to his.

Avatar

Let me guess, you’re the one who has to get up at night when your child doesn’t sleep well & you’ll be the one dealing with the tantrums from an exhausted child?

Avatar

Time to start doing things for you and letting him just get used to it. He sounds a bit over controlling (maybe just OCD).

This sounds like a sad little power struggle because he probably gets his way a lot

Avatar

He’s a massive dick. Baby’s routine shouldn’t be changed to suit his wishes. The non-primary parents really are absolutely clueless

Avatar

Personally our kids nap around our schedule, particularly on special occasions as it’s not often. But we’ve always done that so they don’t get grumpy and are happy to just go with the flow and sleep wherever they are whenever they’re tired.

I don’t think your husband should be telling you you can’t do certain things though.

Avatar

I don't follow planned nap times during special occasions. The kid will sleep during that time or in the car between functions.

Y'all can just go to different church's today.

Avatar

Could you go to your husbands church and have your toddler nap in the pram? For me, skipping nap times were not negotiable especially if baby seems tired.

Avatar

Ahh i accidentally put you’re in the wrong ! Ignore that 😅 nope you’re not wrong at all , he’s gotta meet you in the middle .

Avatar

Yeah no.
It sounds like he’s still living in the past life, before the baby. And doesn’t realize that life now is different and LOTS of sacrifices and changes have to be made. Naps and routines are king, not him.

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

resentment

My husband and I have been together for 5 years with two kiddos.
He has become way too comfortable with everything. During our entire relationship he has cheated on me here and there on dating sites and I always found out. No dates since we had our firstborn 3 years ago. When I tell him, he uses the fact that we can’t put the kids anywhere since we’re not so good with both of our fams. It has never been about the kids or money, it’s about taking initiative. Every weekend he asks me what we should do. I honestly just taught him that I will stay no matter what and I don’t want that anymore. I want to step up for myself. I’ve come to a point where even if he starts doing better for a day or two, I resent him so much that I also just stop putting work into the relationship, he realizes that and goes back to his old ways. I’m tired of this game we’re playing. Everything feels forced. Every interaction. Every progress feels forced from both sides. I know we love each other so much but love does not matter when there is no respect. I don’t know what to do. I don’t wanna do this to my children, but being with him drains the life out of me to a point where I can’t even take care of myself. He doesn’t see that I’m losing myself, and what he doesn’t see at all is that he’s losing me.

Avatar

1

9

Screen time

What are your 18months - 3 year olds watching on TV?

Avatar

9

How do I get my daughter to eat?

She’s 19 months old and she use to eat very well she ate all her veggies, fruit and anything we put on her plate. I understand she’s adapting her taste now and learning what she does and doesn’t like but she doesn’t like anything. It’s hard at meal times to the point we are giving her snacks to fill her up I know that shouldn’t be an option but I’d rather her eat something than nothing at all. How do I go about this?

Avatar

1

5

My ex keeps giving her crap

So my ex husband and I split earlier this year and we have been working on an alternating weekends type schedule so we both get some time to do whatever and have 1 on 1 time with our 1 year old daughter. (He comes over to my house as he doesnt have his own place with space for her yet)

I went out today for some drinks and said to make her a cheese and spinach omelette with a side of vegetables and chicken for dinner .... I just got home and he told me he gave her chips and part of a saveloy sausage from the chippy... I said that's too much salt for her and he said 'no I didnt put any salt on it' -_-

What would you do in this scenario? I really dont want her eating crap and this isnt the first time he has gone directly against what I've said food wise

Avatar

6

Starting solids

Hi 👋🏻
I have started solids with my little one and I just find it so hard to deal with.
1 week he refused sweet potatoes, avocado, carrot, apples the only thing he seem a little interested in was oats (blended) with breastmilk
I tried purées and sticks for him to discover and try himself but he just takes the first bite then gags 🤦🏻‍♀️ It looks so easy for other moms why am I struggling?

Avatar

3

I need ideas for my daughters birthday

Someone list some ideas for a 9 year old girl whose parents are on a tight budget.

Avatar

6

Read more on Peanut