Am i the only one?

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this Seyda. For what it's worth, it sounds like you are doing an amazing job so be kind to yourself 🫶

And if it helps, my son is also almost 7 months and even though he will nurse wherever, we still end up living the same day over and over again 😅

Things will get easier once baby is having solids and then easier once he is able to communicate with you

After he's been fed and changed I would try to venture slightly further out to get your confidence up. I find it easiest to take my son out in a carrier but that's just because he often falls asleep in there. It may be worth trying one if you haven't done so already. Then perhaps you can build up to going to a local baby class.

I promise you're not alone and things will get easier! Feel free to message me if you wish x

​You’ve been through a traumatic start with the NICU, you’re breastfeeding (which is a full-time job in itself), and you’re doing it all without a local support system. That "always on alert" feeling is a real physiological response to stress and isolation.

It is very common for NICU parents to struggle with hyper-vigilance. You aren't "crazy" for feeling like you can't chill out; your body is trying to protect your baby. 😮‍💨😔♥️

I moved to the uk to be with my husband and its sooo lonely. No friends of family either. My son is 2 now and we weren't in the nicu but he was also exclusively bf.
Its so hard meeting good people. And when you kinda do they dont seem to really make room in their life for you. Which I guess I cant blame them for really.


Anyway I hope you know. You'll get through this. ♥️😔

I totally relate with the anxiety - but it does get better once they start solids. I don't go far either bc of hypervigilance sometimes but now he has started solids, i just bring a bite to go and if necessary will feed in public.
To get out of a funk it may help to do some intentional movement everyday and investing in cute lounge wear/ workout clothes to wear around the house. Get some huggie earrings and accesories for your hair, a facial spritz, a body milk spray and some glossss - not to give into consumerism but i take so much joy from these little rituals. I even purchased cheap jewellery that is ok if it breaks to wear in case my little one gets a hold of it. Connecting with fellow moms and talking about it may also help.

Oh yeah also some you- time without the baby so you can just get some coffee or sth - essential

Hey love !!

You’re definitely not alone feeling like this .

I’ve struggled with PP anxiety. So I went to the gp and got talking therapy immediately ( that really helped ) and they prioritise new mums . It is great. (In case you feel anxious, nervous or worried)

I started to introduce one bottle of formula a day. After a few weeks she has finally got the swing of drinking from a bottle. So when we go out I bring an already made formula and whilst I have a coffee she has a bottle. ( it has helped so much ) she couldn’t drink breast milk out she got distracted to easily . But with the bottle she can look around.

I would go to coffee shop and order a take away . Start to try to sit down for as long as baby is happy. And then if baby starts crying you can leave with your drink !!

I felt super anxious about going to classes and started to force myself. After my 3rd time , it didn’t feel so bad anymore .

Babies cry feels loudest to the mum. No one else care ❤️❤️

You got this!! 🫶🫶

Heya, I’ve also given through NICU with my baby, I don’t have family here, EBF… I can totally relate. My baby was born in Spring so it was easier to go out and BF in the shade, so he got used to it.
I can only think of trying every day at the same spot outside (same cafe for example) until he gets used to it and he’s desensitised a little bit, cause at nearly 7 months they also get so distracted.
Regarding your anxiety, it’s totally normal and I believe you can self refer to talking therapy and will be prioritised as you are within the 1st year.
Not having family here has made having other mums around me essential and life saving. If you’ve not attended any antenatal classes, then join sensory experience classes with your LO, he’ll love it, make it a routine and meet other mums to go have a coffee with after etc.
Feel free to message if you want. All the best to you and your baby!!!

I’m reading matrescence by Lucy jones and just got through a part where she talks about how the brain literally changes the pathways and how it functions to be on high alert to keep you and your baby safe, it can be such an overwhelming feeling to be so alert and on edge to your surroundings but it’s completely normal and what your brain is supposed to do when you have a tiny baby to care for!
I’m sorry you’re finding it so hard, but you are doing PHENOMENAL give yourself grace for the journey you’ve been on, and I promise you, in a few months, you’ll look back at yourself with awe for how far you’ve come and how amazing you’re doing. My little boy went through a really tricky stage of feeding in public at that age too, it’s so hard! Do you have a an M&S cafe or a John Lewis local to you? A lot of them now have feeding rooms located next to the toilets and it’s a nice quiet secluded space for you to feed; with less distractions so you may find it easier for baby!

My daughter was a nightmare when I went out with her....evetytime she started crying I had to take her on my hands and push buggy...I remember I was so anxious and stressed but It will take some time but I promise it will get easier xx

Hi seyda, I hope my message finds you well. Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone x
My baby is 10 months old. He was born perfectly fine normal delivery he is exclusively breast fed I don’t have any family in England I’m all alone I gave birth surviving PP all alone. he was the same he would not drink if he’s not in the room and in bed and i was so terrified to go out with him but when he started solids I would try to give him the pouch food when we’re out and did offer breast as well I did not give up eventually he started having milk when we are out. When the baby is hungry he would have milk. You do not worry honestly. Try to mold him into your routine. It might sound bad but honestly its not bad He will he fine.
Start going out and keep offering his milk. He’ll eventually get used to it because babies can’t starve themself for longer.

And as you said you don’t get time to make yourself look nice this is so true🥲 I think at some point every mum feels the same. I just try to put some makeup on when he takes nap some days I sleep when he sleeps some days I enjoy a hot meal alone. Well that’s how I am surviving PP.
I think once they start going to nursery only then we can have some proper me time until then we just gotta compromise🥹
The only thing that keeps me going is “this too shall pass”
There’s was a time I used to cry while I couldn’t get enough sleep he was newborn now he’s growing and settling in so many ways compare to newborn phase. It does get better and you’ll get your spark back. It’s just a few years we gotta focus on the baby🥹❤️

Hi. You’re not alone in this. I’m having my third child and it still surprises me how alert I am every minute for my baby. I rushing for everything. It seems like it’s going to never end but it will. ♥️

Definitely speak to your GP about getting some therapy, might be PPD, which is very common and there’s lots of support available.
On the fussy feeding my daughter was the same and I know how much it can wear you down, the one thing that worked for us (not on the first try, but after a few goes) was using a nursing cover. Like a giant muslin with a strap that goes round your neck and a bit of structure to make sure baby still gets plenty of air flow. Try it at home first, baby will probably be distracted by it at first but once they’re used to it it’s a great tool when you’re out and about to keep their focus on the boob, not whatever’s going on. Also sing to baby so they hear you not the surroundings!

Hi! Sorry it’s like this for you. It’s really hard for people to understand.
My little boy wasn’t in NICU, but at 3 weeks old we almost lost him, and he was in PICU, had open heart surgery etc. He wasn’t the same baby after that. He cried all the time, I couldn’t put him down. It wasn’t even normal crying, it was screaming. He did it during a health visitor clinic and even they were shocked.
We have family nearby, but they don’t understand what it’s like, and sometimes don’t want to help because it’s hard work. I have a toddler too, and I feel like she’s been neglected.
I’m bf too and it’s so tough (tried and failed with bottles so I could have a break)

But, he’s almost 8 months old, and he’s started crawling (albeit backwards). He’s changed so much over the past couple of weeks. He’s starting to find joy and interest in things, he’s laughing and playing.

Keep going and it will get easier. Take one day at a time.

X