How would other mums feel ?

You are completely in the right, he is completely wrong! For him to even suggest it shows he isn’t considering her safety at all! And clearly has very little respect for you! X

I agree with you to be honest, I’m a very big person on kids being safe in the correct car seats, I am ERF my 2 who are currently nearly 5 and 3, they will be in their ERF seats until they max them out which going by their charts will be about 6.5/7 years old, I would be absolutely furious just like you if it was me, it is so dangerous especially with her not being in a seat at all, I know you said you’re trying to avoid an argument on it but I would be setting him straight and even showing him the dummy videos they do for showing what impact it can have on a child’s body (they have some on YouTube), I hope you’re okay 💕

I'd shown him some videos of the impact on a child when not in a car seat. I'm so sorry you weren't respected. Xx

Last time we spoke about this I showed him videos and clearly explained the dangers (although he's not silly, he should know 🤦🏻‍♀️) he knows how passionately I feel about it...it has been discussed at length in the past and he was very tricky about it even then, but ended up dropping it. But ugh! I have spent thousands over the years on the safest car seats for our little ones for him to just go and take her without one. Ridiculous! 😭 And yes, it's basic respect isn't it?! Plus, now he's done it once I just know he will try and do it again and say oh but I took her last time. 🥴 Thank you for your responses guys. Xx

How would he be feeling if she was not secure in the car, had an accident and she was seriously injured?
He would have to live with the consequences!

I know its not what your looking for but is it worth having a seat for his van as surely thats better than nothing? Completely agree with others he shouldn't have disrespected you like that.

That was a really shitty thing for him to do! I’d be absolutely furious. As others have said it’s obviously very dangerous and even if he thinks of himself as a “good driver” what about other road users?? To be in an accident doesn’t necessarily mean that you were the cause of it.

Another thing that would piss me off is he’s teaching her that when you say no it can be ignored. I’d have a very serious conversation with him about how you need to be united on things like this in front of your daughter. If he wants to dispute something with you, he can do so privately and then you can come to an agreement together and stick to it. He should never undermine you like that in front of her. I’d be so angry at the blatant disrespect!