How are you setting boundaries with your 14 month old?

You say said boundary in a calm and assertive voice. You then have to uphold it, no matter what.

You can bend down or sit on the floor in front on them so your eye level. You can validate there feelings if they say “I don’t want to” or “no” saying like “I know you don’t want to but ____” and they might still be upset but they eventually understand they can’t get their way by doing said things.

She’s screaming and crying to get a reaction from you, and or getting what she wants. So for her brain, doing said things work.

If she pulls your hair, you say “no please, that hurts” or “no ouchy” or just simple “no” and then distance yourself.

Cuz you shouldn’t be letting her rip out your hair.. no mom should have to go through that

But yeah, it’s hard setting a boundary. But the more you do it. The less and less they’ll scream/cry, tantrum, physical violence.. cuz they’ll learn that that doesn’t work anymore.

We all have a breaking point though, so I understand the overstimulation

It’s hard at 1st. I use to live with my mil and we’d just give into our daughter cuz she didn’t like the crying/screaming.

But now I get to implement what I feel works.

You just gotta breathe and stay calm. It can be hard, especially when it’s been a long day/multiple days in a row of it.. but what’s a couple months to her being like this the rest of her life right?

Cuz the way I saw it with my daughter, I can either continue with accepting that behaviour, or nip it in the butt before she gets older and bigger..

Not sure if it’s true but apparently the brain is majority set, like foundation-ally by 7 years old. But I still have to do research on that more. If it’s even true

We are same boat with our 14 months old specially the hair pulling. I honestly don’t think he understands when I explain to him

I try and hold clear boundaries about things like hurting me or things that could hurt her. But I've found redirection really helps rather than just saying no. So I say no and then offer her something that I can say yes to. E.g. there are cupboards in the kitchen that are dangerous for her, so they are locked. But we have a "yes" cupboard that she is allowed in and can pull stuff out of. She hears no so often, I try to give her "yes" as well as much as I can, if that makes sense?

Idk the hair pulling was a falling asleep/comfort thing.. have you thought about getting (I was gonna say long haired stuffy but idk if an animal replacement would be good.. 🙈) maybe a shaggy pillow?

I’d cycle through doing different soothing mechanisms and see if those work? I’m sorry you’re going through this daily!

My daughter was going into fight or flight with naps.. and then she would do it bedtime as well. 2 times a day she was overtired and literally just flailing and I had to sternly but gently hold her so she wouldn’t throw herself into walls/launch herself off the bed, she’d hit/punch/slap me, head butt me, pull my hair, try to bite me, kick me repeatedly

So I took nap away.. not sure how old she was, wish I did it sooner cuz now she falls asleep after 2 books/lullaby really quickly at bed. 14m I feel is still a little young to take away nap.. but every baby is different.

The feeling of hopelessness really sucks.. but I hope you find what works for her and you