Do I have a right to be upset?

My BIL turns 40 in June, his wife messaged asking if we would be joining for the trip, but I cant becauae by then I'll be 36 weeks and do not want to risk travel. Husband declined as well. W

Well today BIL wife messaged my husband asking for sure he can't make it for like a day or two? And honestly I knew this was going to come up. He hasn't decided and we will be talking it over, but why does it make me mad that she would even ask again? I know if she were in my place she wouldn't have her husband travel across the US when she is that far along

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

My BIL wanted my husband to travel from NY to FL near the end of my pregnancy to have a boys week with their dad & my husband flat out declined bc I was so close to giving birth & he refused to miss it for anything. It’s kind of selfish of her to even ask so close to your due date.

1000% have a right to be upset. Your child being born is more important than a 40 year birthday trip by a mile

Just thinking more and more about it, it's frustrating to think she'd ask because 1) he doesn't get paternity leave, it's pto 2) I'd be alone with our other kids

I think she's just thinking about her husband and wanting his brother to be there for his 40th. I don't think there's any malice in it, she's just not thinking very much about the other side of things. I wouldn't personally hold on to hard feelings about it. She doesn't know all the details of your lives, it's up to your husband to say no.

Best to give people the benefit of the doubt. Less headache, she has not got all the details of your life neither have you. She could have her BIL talking her ears out about his brother this and that not able to come to his birthday 🎂

in our community

Toddler sucking thumb

Pleaseeee be honest because I’ve heard so many contradictions, does sucking thumb mess up toddlers teeth in future? If yes, how do I stop him doing it!?

Feeling deflated

For context I am a fully qualified early years teacher and I am more than competent in teaching and looking after my daughter.
We recently got a confirmation that our daughter can start nursery in 2028. (She will be 2) however I’ve realised I’m not comfortable with this (history of working in nursery’s and knowing what happens behind the scenes) and also I can simply do it all myself and I am happy to.
My husband tells me that he wants her to start nursery then and not stay home and let me care for her because she needs to go to nursery. I don’t understand why he would rather send her to be cared for by random people when I’m a stay at home mum and qualified to do it myself.
I also don’t really see how he gets much of a say in it (outside of just a general opinion) as it doesn’t affect him at all whether she is home with me or at nursery as I’ll be doing it all anyway? And he will be saving money if she doesn’t go…

Parents who have not sent their child to nursery can you comment experiences.

Preschool/prek ?

If you are a SAHM, do you send your 2-3 year old to preschool? I’m genuinely confused because people keep asking me why my not even 3 year old isn’t in preschool yet. While I was working she was in “early preschool” which was literally just daycare. I also keep seeing social media posts of 2 and 3 year olds going to “preschool.” I am a SAHM now, why would I willingly send my 2 year old to daycare and pay money for that, and lose the precious time we have together before she starts school. She has other opportunities to socialize and she is incredibly smart! Maybe societal expectations are changing but my siblings and I didn’t start preschool until 4 and it was only a half day (and free through our public school!) Isn’t it best for our babies to be home with us if possible?

Someone tell me I’m not crazy?! 🙈

Parenting responsibilities

As a stay at home mom I understand that my job is mainly house chores and childcare when he’s working but I asked him to help with giving our son a bath and he started complaining about how that’s my job and how I’m so lucky to be a stay at home mom and I need to stop complaining. I feel terribly guilty and bad when he brings that up. Of course I’m extremely lucky and blessed to be a stay at home mom but that doesn’t mean that some days or weeks are just hard. I feel weak for asking for help and I don’t think I should feel like that. These are his kids too and I shouldn’t have to ask him to just be a parent. Idk am I in the wrong?
I even told him he doesn’t need to do anything at home like laundry, cooking, cleaning because I understand that’s my duty at home. Maybe I’m the one who’s wrong idk.
Then when I try to talk to him about me struggling he’ll tell me just wait until you start working then you’ll regret ever complaining. But if I work I’ll still be coming home after a long work day to still cook, clean, and take care of the kids.

Primary School

My daughter turned 2 this month and will stay with her childminder until she is 4. When should i start looking into primary schools/applying for her place? Tia

Lunch ideas for 7m nearly 8m when out

Health visitor has recommended for me to start giving my baby lunch. 5/7 days of the week we are usually out when I’ll be giving her lunch. Has anyone got any ideas on what to feed my baby when out?
So far I’ve seen pinwheels, yogurt and fruit ect.