Am I exaggerating?

Would getting a cleaner once a week help? If so, try and do that

I recommend looking into Abby Eckel and Paige Connell’s content on social media.

They both address this issue with different approaches. One is ways to have conversations around sharing the load to help your husband understand, and practical examples/solutions (Paige), and the other is essentially giving up on your husband (but with the inability to leave) and centering yourself for your own happiness and peace of mind (Abby).

You also work and ft at that and do everything ?? Yeah ...nah. use that pay check to organise yourself if you wanna leave.
If you weren't working I'd have said just focus on you and kids and keep peace till you can reorganise later. But ...

tbh i also cant trust hubby with doing laundry

If you have talked to him about this and he still won’t help, I’d leave

I do mine and my son's laundry, he does his own!

It’s so frustrating when we have to ask them to “help” around the house. The way I see it, they also live there, they dirty dishes, they use the bathroom and so on. So they shouldn’t be “helping” clean their own house. They should just do it. I was in the same boat, so since he didn’t listen, I decided I wasn’t going to do his laundry or pick up his stuff anymore. As I too have a job and do 99% of the kids responsibilities. Men just want to work, come home, eat and relax. We want to do the same, but we know we can’t. And if you have already spoken to him and he doesn’t change, I’d say talk to someone, like a counselor. And if that doesn’t work, then choose peace and walk away. So fed up with this 90/10 relationships.