Should I reach out to my mom?

I'm a 30yo ftm with a 6 month old little boy. I'm loving motherhood it's by far the best thing I've done in life.

That being said there is this one piece I keep coming back to that just stings. My own mother is hardly talking to me. She lives 10min uo the road and has only met him about 3 or 4 times all because I initiated contact.

I have cptsd and childhood trauma from my mother. Now I have gone to therapy I don't really hold anger towards her for it anymore I believe at this point my trauma is mine to heal I don't need her to solve it for me. Without going into detail she suffers from severe depression and put a lot of it on me growing up. So understandably have a hot and cold relationship.

We were in a good spot until about 3/4 of the way through my pregnancy where she totally flipped the script and started arguing with me about super old stuff that in my opinion just didn't need dug up (especially while like 7months pregnant) anyway this continued postpartum and it just sings extra ya know. Like she waited until I was again at a vulnerable point in life to cause arguments and take advantage of my vulnerability.

I'm just sad, I miss the way she is when she's acting normal, but I've tried to reach out and every time it's an argument.

What should I do?

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Honestly this is one thing to have trauma issues from her from childhood that indeed you have to fix. This is another thing to keep being her victim today as an adult... I wouldn't let that happen personally and stop reaching out and just live my own life. If she reach out let her in and see what happens

I guess I basically have stopped and time just keeps passing and she doesn't reach out

I'd focus on your healing journey in this season without judgment or bitterness her way for not reaching out. It can be a lot for a parent to see their child working out of patterns while being stuck. Took my mom and I several years of mixed interactions to heal after our own issues where I got kicked out pregnant at 15 and didn't move back in until I was 19. I was the one bringing up old things because I needed closure and then I did cognitive behavioral therapy/DBT to work through my trauma and release the expectation of her answering that call. She is not that mom and might never be. But I can now work on meeting her where she is, and she's taken steps. Give it time, there is hope in that you've had good moments, but you are okay to give yourself space and let her work through things while being kind and available for healthy contact.

Yes that's a grief and that's very hard.... I hope you can find peace anytime soon

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