Struggling with going back to work

I go back to work part time on Monday. My best friend will be watching my baby. Today, I went to her house and tagged along for what a normal day would look like for my son while he's with her. We hung out at her house and went to her kid's soccer practice.

I feel guilty saying this because she's so great with my son, but I felt so weird seeing her hold my baby and just knowing that I won't be around. I felt like an outsider and like SHE was the mom. I know this is probably just my anxiety talking, but im scared he's going to like her more than me. Or that he won't miss me. She will literally be spending more daytime hours with him than I will. By the time I'm off work, pick him up, and get home, its basically his bed time.

I feel so heartbroken. Ive been able to tend to his every need since he was born. And now I can't guarantee he will get good quality naps while I'm away. His routine is going to be disrupted. I dont know how im going to even have family dinners together and ensure he gets his meals unless he does those with her as well. Im sobbing just thinking about it.

I know so many moms go back to work so im sorry if this sounds dramatic or something. Im incredibly lucky that I've been able to stay with him for 6 months. Im just not ready.

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I don’t like my toddler.

My little one was a easy baby. So loving. Even entering toddlerhood the big feelings moments were not nearly as horrible as they are now. She listens well and we hardly have to repeat ourselves until she says okay mommy or daddy. This past week her behavior has been horrible. She is giving me nasty looks when I am smiling at her. She crosses her arms at me. She screams at the top of her lungs saying go away, leave me alone, no, etc. We have her in preschool half time and her teachers have no complaints, she is always very passive and friendly. To top it off, she hits me so much. She will dig her nails into my arms and swing her arms and hit me. She will also use her head to try to hit me when I hold her arms at her side to try to stop the hitting. We never spank her back and we are firm with her on timeouts but even that she will fight so hard whereas before she would go and sit down on timeout no issues. She is turning 3 in the summer. I’m at a loss as to why she is acting so out of the ordinary. I want to chalk it up to be developmentally normal but there are zero sweet moments with her now. Even when she sits with me she will look at me and clench her jaw and push her head really hard into me or only want her dad. I just want to cry cuz I feel guilty for feeling like I don’t like her at all. I’ll always love her but it’s like the sweet kind cuddly girl she was has been possessed by this feral mean abusive toddler. Please help me, am I alone in this? Are there any other moms going through this because for some reason when I talk about this with other moms they are all shocked that she knows to hit and thinking that we showed her the hitting. Why the hell would I expose her to hitting?! I only have one mom friend who said her child also hits and it was not like she was taught that, kids just do that right? I’m at a loss.

Going away and weaning

Hiya, we’re going away for about a week and staying in a hotel.

In my head I’m thinking she’s a little person and needs to eat like any other human and I don’t want to halt weaning but obviously it’s SUPER messy, I don’t know if it’s appropriate to weaning a restaurant/hotel?

Any opinions or advice appreciated 🙏🥰

Am I in the wrong? Help me understand

Hey everyone little context I have been out and had a babysitter for my son ONCE. Since I could remember I was always caged in by my parents I was never let out to do anything even with my own family. Since I had my some my family has been telling me that since I’ve had my son there no such thing as me time or fun time for myself at all. I go out one time and my entire family is in my ass about me stepping out for 5-6 hrs out of the day with my cousins have ONE drink. And the babysitter was my own aunt and my mom says I left my son with a stranger to everyone. Am I in the wrong that I want to have fun since I never experienced any of that in my life. Again I understand I have my son and ofc I would prefer to come home to him than being blacked out from drinking. My sons father also encourages me to go out and he’ll watch our son while I am out and if I wanted to step out the whole n night it’s fine by him but just to him now ahead of time. Am I in the wrong? Or help me understand

Struggling with going back to work

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I don’t like my toddler.

Going away and weaning

Am I in the wrong? Help me understand

Does this looks like my baby is teething?

When did you start on baby’s nursery?

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