Im at a loss for getting my 3yo to listen... (Repostin cause i forget to add the poll part)

Try to think of more 'natural' consequences. A time out is super abstract for a young one. She may not mind going to time out.
But if she's throwing a toy --> toy goes away
She hits her brother --> she cannot be close to brother or needs to play in another room
She spits out her food --> food goes away
She spits on you --> she cannot be close to you / has to play in another room
She doesn't pick up a certain toy --> toy is put away somewhere she can't reach until she shows you she can tidy up her toys

Not to make you feel guilty, but do you spend enough quality time with her? One-on-one time where you fully focus on her for at least 10 minutes? She may be craving your attention and is using bad behaviour to get it

Everything Rianne said!
How is her communication? Are you listening to her or only expecting her to listen to you? My daughter gets very frustrated, upset, and completely uncooperative when she feels she isn’t being listened to. Her communication is very minimal so it’s difficult to her to tell me what she wants and equally difficult for me when something is time-sensitive. Sometimes she’ll scream and protest about going up to bed and it’s so easy to just treat her as being difficult but when I take the time to stop and listen it’s because she wanted to bring a toy that she left behind. Recently she was crying in the car after leaving the park, I assumed it was because we left but it was actually because I skipped a song that she wanted to hear.

I feel like as parents it’s so easy to slip into the boss role and assume our children should comply with our demands but life is so much easier when we work as a team and I listen to her as much as I expect her to listen to me

Have you asked her why she’s not listening?

This is normal. My little girl who is 4 does this. I make consequences more immediate or appropriate.

You wont come brush your teeth for bed? Then ill brush them here and there will be no bedtime story for example.

I do find I have to step in and physically do things. And as I hate the repition, I hate to feel unheard, I only ask twice before I add the consequence and give her another go. (Most times)

I do find that she is worse if she is tired, or if we havent played much, or if something else is bothering her

I find it so annoying though, its one thing that is so hard to deal with. But they are 4 and its normal and there will probably be many more years to come of them not listening 😭

I’m getting that exact same thing with mine. She just turned 3 & oh my! She’s never been like this before but yeah basically what the other mums said, try doing thoses. And also, redirect with things she shouldn’t do.

Hope it helps. 😊

Also like Kerry and Lorraine said, it’s normal. My daughter does this, not everyday but often. She’s 4

You really genuinely need this book: How to talk so little kids will listen

It's my toddler bible