Friendship brake downs
Hi
So since the age of 18 I’ve had one main group of girlfriends. There 5 of us. Now we’re all nearly 40, we’ve seen each other go through a lot. We’ve welcomed children, get married, get divorced, loose parents, have breast cancer diagnosis, get jobs, loose jobs etc…. We’ve been through a lot.
I don’t want to loose my relationship with these woman, but for a while now our relationship with each other has been mainly through just doing the odd day out with the kids. I can’t even remember the last time we had drinks together, went for a meal or even just hung out with a takeaway.
I know it changes with kids. I’m the last to have a baby and I’ve barely had the time to shower, never mind see the girls for cocktails. So I get it. Money can be tight and people have busy lives.
But I don’t want this to be the end of a really special friendship group. We don’t even chat about fun gossip anymore. I hesitate to say things now even in our WhatsApp chat. As an example I tried a new makeup and loved it and I wanted to share it with my friends but I hesitated because we just don’t really chat like that anymore.
We just organise a meet up and try attempt to fill each other in with what’s happening in our lives while supervising a bunch of kids. Which is almost impossible to hold a decent conversation with kids around. After that there zero girl chat.
I miss it but don’t know if this is normal, if it’s just a phase or if we’re drifting apart.
Anyone else been through this?
I need tips with how I can maybe turn this around.
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This is really normal (or I think so anyway!) I have two sets of girlfriends one from school and one from university (we are all now 40 so it’s been a long time!). We are similar we barely chat on the WhatsApp group we try and meet up with the kids and it’s chaotic and we barely get to catch up with each other. However, as of two years ago, with one set we decided that each year we would go away for a weekend. Nothing fancy Friday night to Sunday, the same weekend every year (we live opposite ends of the country so we meet in the middle) an Airbnb, we hang out we eat pizza and crappy food, we drink Prosecco and catch up properly. Maybe you could suggest doing something like that?
With my uni group, we now do a annual holiday for 10 days every other year, a villa with all the children. It is absolute chaos but we do have a great time and really get to spend some quality time together. Would something like that be an option?
It doesn't sound like the end, just a new version. When the kids are in their teens, you can all get back to the cocktails!
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