How long does this feeling last postpartum?
I've just had my second baby a few days ago, our toddler is nearly 3.
I forgot how much of a whack your body and mind take in the first few days with hormones crashing and obviously sore from birth. I'm definitely coping a bit better this time round, but the added pressure of having a toddler to look after too is taking its toll a bit on my husband and I. I think we're both feeling quite anxious and overwhelmed.
I'm struggling to sleep when baby is sleeping, even though she's been fab so far and managing some good stretches of sleep, feeding well etc. I wasn't sure if that anxiety would hit me like last time (checking she's breathing every 2 seconds) but it is and I can't fully relax to sleep at night.
Currently my husband and I are having to take shifts during the night so at least one of us is awake, which isn't ideal but it means we both sleep better when we do, we just get less.
Although I'm breastfeeding and baby needs me more. It is a little overwhelming. It's especially overwhelming when I'm trying to feed etc and my toddler is desperate for my attention and I can't do anything for him because I'm stuck feeding and I'm also still really sore from birth and can't just hop up to play with him.
Obviously his dad is there for him but his dad is also holding down the fort house-wise and doing all the chores and dinners etc, so we're just feeling like it's getting on top of us a bit.
Trying to just let it be and go with the flow but its quite difficult. I had a big cry and panic going to bed earlier because I just felt like everything was too much. My body is in bits, I have to take blood thinning injections which I hate so much, I'm paranoid about baby spitting up even though I know its totally normal, I'm worried for my toddler and allthe change, he's been a little difficult and I feel like I can't be there for him properly. His dad is really worried about him too and is worried he's no longer a happy child because we've had a second baby, and I understand what he means because it feels like he's just constantly having tantrums and freaking over everything and getting upset easily.
I don't know what I'm looking for really, just any advice or reassurance I think. It's currently nearly 4am and I'm awake now for the day, there's no way I'll be able to fall asleep, my husband has been awake most of the night with baby and has now went to bed. It's just a lot and maybe we're making it more difficult for ourselves, I don't know. I'm just struggling more than I thought I would.
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
When I went from 1 to 2 kids it was hard on myself and hubby too. Our oldest was 3 weeks shy of being 3, she was in a preschool program 3 half days a week and I had my spouse take her swimming one night a week just the two of them so she got some 1 on 1 time without competing for attention with her baby sister. I always did bedtime with her as that’s our routine and we get 1 on 1 together reading books together. She loved getting involved helping with baby sister. She would help grab diapers, wipes and throw used diapers in the garbage. It may take a few weeks to get the swing to the transition but if your able to give the older child some 1 on 1 time and maybe put them in some sort of activity once or twice a week and involve them with the baby you should be fine:)
I'm so sorry love, I know everyone says it but this time will flash by. I know you're probably doing the best you can and that's all you really can do. Don't forget to lean on other supports as well. Do you have any family that's willing to come so you can nap or take over some chores? Maybe take your toddler for a few hours?
Download the Peanut App
