My partner hates me for not terminating

My partner and person I planned to marry told me they resented me yesterday for my decision. They didn’t come home today and turned on do not disturb to avoid me.

It wasn’t planned and when I found out I wasn’t thrilled but have grown to the idea. They however didn’t want and asked for a termination. I agreed initially but as I processed it decided against it.

Yesterday they sat me down and told me they didn’t want this and felt trapped. I told them I had debated being a single mother because I don’t want them to resent me for this decision and they don’t have to be a part of this if they didn’t want too. They told me they already resent me for this and we kind of left it at that.

Today they didn’t call me to check in or come home. They text me to say have a good evening but nothing else really. This is completely out of character for them and I feel this relationship is pretty doomed now.

The thing is I’m terrified of doing this alone. I know I have some friends and family who could support but the end of the day it will be just me. It’s weird being apart from them but I also think I’m going to have to get used to it. I also think if I terminated our relationship would never be the same regardless and I would grow to resent him.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What would you do?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

it’s a big thing to deal with so give him time and then speak to him again x

So my first pregnancy I terminated it because my husband said he was gonna leave if i didn’t. And the emotional turmoil that put through me I don’t wish anyone. But I think they are already telling you it’s over by not responding or reaching out. I am a single mom now cuz me and him did eventually have 2 children but he was an abusive shit so I’m raising them mostly on my own. If you want the baby, keep it. And if he already doesn’t want it let him walk away now so you can focus on you and the baby.

I really don’t want to be a Debbie Downer but from someone who’s been in a similar situation: no one can tell you what to do. I can tell you no matter what you choose, someone will be resentful. Whether they want to be or not. No matter what you decide, I highly recommend getting in individual & couple’s counseling (even if you don’t stay together) NOW. It may even help you decide what is best for you.

Personally I’m happy you made the decision best for you at the end of the day . A supportive partner would’ve respected the decision no matter what and backed you .., it took two to make the baby it’s not trapping anyone … I’d give them time but they’ve also shown you their true colors . Life is hard and you need someone who weathers the storms with you not makes them worse & abandons you. Wishing u the best 🙏

in our community

AITA??

I think I already know the answer but here goes..

I have an urgent scan booked tomorrow to test for stomach cancer. It's a camera down my throat and I've asked for sedation so I will need someone to take me and bring me home.

Hubby says he can't get time off work and I know he hasn't even asked. He's completely swamped after being on holiday for two weeks. Meetings after meetings m, etc. I'm really upset that he hasn't even asked. He was like 'I have to work' he was shouting about how busy he is at work.

I'm a young mum with a very young boy. I'm not ready for all of this and I need the support. The procedure itself is awful, I'm a RN and my mind is in overdrive. Am I being a child for wanting him to be there or is he just not being supportive?

Please be kind, I'm terrified!

Feeling invalidated

My son is 18 months and is a serious cheeky monkey stage. I’m a pretty laid back parent unless he’s doing something that could hurt himself or break something I don’t normally intervene (within reason of course). The other day we were visiting his grandma on his dad’s side and he was slamming his toy really hard on her table over and over again. I told him to be gentle and not to slam his toy so he didn’t end up hurting himself or breaking his toy. He obviously kept doing it and every time I’d gently tell him to be careful and to instead roll the toy. My partners mum then said something along the lines of “oh he’s fine leave him be”. My partners also joined in with saying that he was fine playing as he was.

This really has wound me up as it’s not the first time this has happened. Like I say I’m not a super strict mum however he’s still a baby and learning so I’m trying to gently teach him to be careful but whenever I try and parent I feel like I’m made to feel like I’m being over the top.

I don’t really know the purpose of this other than to vent a little and ask what people’s views are? I’ve been struggling with anxiety really bad since having my son so I’m constantly second guessing myself

I hate motherhood

I love my child so much but being a solo parent is hard. Its not enjoyable. Im constantly burnt out on edge. I have no energy at all. I just feel miserable. I dont get a break not even 5 mintues to shower. Some days I wish I could just walk away. I didnt expect to be completely on my own but here i am. My child is high needs (which is fine) but I feel like im not giving her enough because im so focused on trying to juggle everything. She will sleep max of 6hrs in a 24hr period. She wont be put down for more than 10 mintues at a time.

Bad parenting or accidentally said something dumb😂

I was at the park yesterday and one of the moms was trying to get her about five-year-old boy to go home and he was refusing and so she said OK. You get two hours of time out when we get home and walked away frustrated

Is this normal are other mom’s putting their kids in timeout for two hours?😬

or do you think this is one of those “if you don’t do this I’m gonna crash the car scenarios.” Where you say something you didn’t mean cause you were getting heated Lmao

Which nanny would you choose?

If you had to pick a nanny based solely on the nannies style, which would you pick and why?

Shows we're letting our kids watch?

I'm not too big on TV but my son does watch it sometimes while I'm doing chores. I've watched some of the stuff I used to watch as a kid recently and idk if I want my kid watching the same stuff. What do y'all let your kids watch? Put on for your kids? I have Disney plus and Netflix for Netflix kids