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Venting (judge free)

Moving / PPD / mean ass grandma and my lore

Hello! I’m back yet again to vent about my mean ass grandma I live with lol….so it’s gotten so bad to the point where I am moving 5 hours away to live with other family members and I’m feeling guilty about it and idk if I should be. I’m a recovering people pleaser and have been trying to put my foot down more, especially with my week old daughter. All throughout my pregnancy my grandmother whom I live with has made it difficult. She’s made unnecessary negatives comments regarding my weight, my dog, my life, even my cooking (apparently whenever I use more than salt and pepper I’m a horrible cook cause she likes her food bland). I also have people I don’t associate with in my biological family. My mother lost custody of me at 16 because her bf tried having sex with me, she chose him over me, yada yada. I moved in with her cause I had no other choice. The other day the subject of said mother and bf was brought up and the term pedofile came out in this discussion because that’s what I refer to him as (I mean that is what he is after all ). She looked me dead in the eyes - 6 days PP mind you - and said “he isn’t a pedofile he only tried to have sex with you one time, he didn’t rape you” like OHHH okay so it’s fine just because he wanted to fuck me at 16 not that he did..okay. Hence why I am moving, I’m at an increased risk of PPD and I’ve had to already start therapy and my therapist is already talking about putting me back on meds if it doesn’t get better. Yesterday I went off on my grandma though, I called her names I told her that she’s going to regret ever treating me this way when the house is empty, and that she will never see me nor my daughter again. She told me I’ve also been difficult to live with because I set too many boundaries and it’s too hard to keep track (I set 4 lol). She said I’ve been disrespectful because I have gotten upset at times in regards to cleanliness and her helping me out because since living here last July and all throughout my pregnancy and even postpartum now I’ve been doing all the cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping. She said I was controlling with her money because I tried to help her by setting budgets because the first 6 months of living here she would always end up in the negative due to overspending on useless items and have no money for food, I’d have to pick up on her slack and help her while also preparing for a child on my own, her father isn’t involved and at the time I was saving for baby stuff, a car, and my maternity leave fund cause I’m not getting paid for my time off. Later that night I was in the middle of feeding my daughter, still distraught from our convo, and letting my dog inside (full tit out scenario) - she asked if she could hold my daughter and I immediately said no. She said “I figured but I had to ask cause I’ve only held her for 5 mins since you brought her home.” I was also packing up my room at the time and very busy but even before I’ve told her several times I’m uncomfy with her holding my baby right now due to how I’ve been treated for so long and she has major hygiene issues. I thought I was vulnerable during pregnancy but I’m more vulnerable now more than ever. I feel really guilty though. Like everything’s my fault somehow. I tried setting boundaries so much to make our relationship better and to ease tension but everything I asked of her she wouldn’t do or went ignored and I think I just got to my breaking point with her comment saying the man who tried to have sex with me as a minor isn’t a pedofile only because he didn’t succeed.