Which is more important to you?

Is there a reason you have you choose, my husband and parents don’t get on either, so I just keep them apart x

Personally my mom has come and gone 1837372 times, she’s inconsistent and unreliable. My husband and child are my family now, and they come first. And if she can’t be mature enough to compromise or whatever is needed to be involved, then she won’t be.

Your husband and children should come before them but it actually depends on the scenario. Is your husband deliberately disrespectful to your mother? Because that changes things or is it that your mother oversteps boundaries. What’s the reason they don’t get along?

My mom has made comments about my husband and his ability to be a good father. As well as claiming he is controlling (we have a very traditional marriage/gender role situation which we both agreed to/enjoy). He has opened my eyes to her manipulation/ codependency which has also made me want to distance myself. Also worth mentioning my dad/ moms husband passed away 10 years ago when I was 16 which does play a factor in why she is the way she is.

I think it would depend on what the problems are and who I think is right vs who I think is causing the issues.
Ultimately my mom is ALWAYS on my side and looking out for my best interest. She has never and would never try to negatively impact my relationships. If my mom has an issue with my husband I know for a fact there’s something I’m currently blind to or need to dig into more.
If I had toxic parents I’m sure my answer would be different.

So I love my whole family better or worse but I would throw my parents in a fire for my kids and their dad (not actually). But I believe I have to nurture my family I have created first. My parents have to put in the effort to do stuff with me now that I am a mom of 3 young kids. I cannot do as much as I could before.

if you're in the right relationship and partnership (big caveats there), your partner should be your ride or die, imo. if your family is disrespecting them, it's your responsibility to draw the boundaries that either demand the respect he deserves as your partner or keep them at a distance. your mum can choose to follow them or not, but there should be consequences for them disrespecting your partner, regardless of the reason. and of course your partner should do the same for you. i think it's really hard to maintain 100% trust and feel 100% safe with a partner who won't stick up for you around their family, because that's a really vulnerable place to be, in the firing line and having to let someone mistreat you because your partner won't intervene... but that's just my belief and again it depends heavily on the partnership being a good and healthy one worth protecting.