Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

What do I do now? 🥲

This year and last has completely sucked for us. My boyfriend/baby daddy has cancer and is losing his only mother figure since his mum left him as a baby. He is really struggling and won't get help with his mh. I had to phone the police on him last Sunday because he was trying to end his life. That was last week and he's been up and down since but has now decided he's going back to work. He's a fisherman so will be gone for 2-3 weeks and isn't meant to be working because of his cancer. I mostly just try to distract myself with the kids but I'm also struggling with ppd and PTSD and idk I'm fine when I'm with my kids but as soon as I get a minute to myself I'm not okay anymore. For the past couple weeks I've basically just been throwing myself into my son's first birthday. I decided to turn my livingroom into a sensory jungle but I'm not inviting anyone because I've been really struggling with my anxiety and i think it'll be more fun for the kids if I don't have to play host and can actually give them 100% attention. I probably have went a bit overboard with the jungle but I don't even care tbh it's my last babies first birthday. Just picked up the last little bits and bobs and am now on my way back to get everything set up and I'm nervous 😅 I have little sort of activities, games and stories for throughout the day but I don't care if we don't do any of it, I just want them to have the best day (it's his birthday but they both need it). But his birthday is tomorrow so I don't have anything to distract myself with now. And idek if its gonna be better or worse without him there because I'll be even more worried about him. I already hated when he went on the boat incase something happened. I used to cry with worry every stormy night he was away because I knew the weather we had was nothing compared to what he was dealing with on the boat. And now he's going to do it with cancer and not for his usual 5 days but for 2-3 weeks.

in our community

Am I wrong

I was feeding our 3 week old baby and asked my partner to take the pizza out the oven, he was just sitting on the couch. He refused to and said I should, I eventually did go get it out otherwise it would have burnt. Now I’m pissed off with him. He says I did nothing all day so I should have just done it. His idea of nothing is looking after a 3 week old and 2 year old all day.

When I see a toddler in a pram with a bag of crisps I....

Smile, because I always have bags of crisps in my bag along with other snacks for my toddler too 🤣

So my son is at pre school which is free Monday to Friday 9-3 term time only

I work 3 days a week. My son goes for 3 days a week and he absolutely loves it. Would I be a bad mum for putting him in 4/5 days so I could clean the house and work another day for more money? He starts school in a year so also thinking do I carry on spending 2 days in the week with him while I can before school?!

Ok, I have a conundrum! CPS or no?

So my bestie has a cousin whom I know and this cousin has a partner (they are married) and 4 kids.

Kiddo's 1 & 2 live with a druggie, do drugs themselves and have issues. Kiddo 1 lived with my bestie for a time and struggled. He is autistic too. Kiddo 2 had been sent to live with his aunt for time due to behavioural issues and drugs.

Kiddo 1 & 2 lived together briefly (essentially kicked out as soon as they could be) in a unit owned by their parents.

They are roughly like 27 and 25 now.

Kiddo 3 is beautiful but also has some issues. He is a people pleaser and may struggle with certain adult respinsibilities but is over all well rounded, very smart and qyite self sufficient. He is studying and has a job and a gf. He is around 22.

He currently lives with my bestie in the unit his parents own.

Kiddo 4, lives with theie parents, is a round 11/12 and will not function when he becomes an adult. He happens to be autistic and may have FAS (knew the potential never got him assessed) but his parents have neglected him medically in regards to this, most of his life.

He is the golden child and his siblings know it.

He can do no wrong, never gets in trouble, never has to do anything he doesn't want to, always gets his own way. Spends a huge amount of his time playing games online with other people and cuasing and yelling while doing so.

As far as I know, no one ever spoke up about his behaviour or the parents neglect, about getting him diagnosed or any sort of help.

Basically he has been let down by everyone in his life.

So he apparently hates autistic people so they haven't told him he is autistic.

He was having severe issues at school and he has social issues so they have decided to home school him, but his Dad will work from home at the same time.

Kiddo's 1 and 2 barely see the family from my understanding and kiddo 3 doesn't like visiting much anymore due to kiddo 4's behaviour.

He isn't in therapy but apparently he is on medication for his behaviour but he is beong told it's for anxiety.

He is also overweight because he eats junk (I have an autistic kiddo and understand the struggle) but does no exercise. It was school and video games. Now it will just be video games.

I am hearing all this through my bestie and am so frustrated and heartbroken for this kid that noone has protected him. Including several mandatory reporters.

Do I report this if I can? I don't know kiddo's last name, know 1 parents but not the others, though I should br able to access that through social media. I don't even know exaxtly where they live. I know rough area.

Someone needs to stand up for this kid.

To add extra context; in the last few years they have lost both paternal grandparents and a paternal uncle and Dad was really, really sick in hospital for many months.

All 4 kids are adopted. 1 and 2 are siblings.

Both parents are AH's who use and abuse family and likely friends. Telling my bestie they where staying at the flat and bringing a cat despite her having a cat. Her cousin was angry she replaced the broken vaccuum. They expected her to parent kiddo 1 through being an adult out on his own because they couldn't be arsed.

Cousins has a sister who lives in a house he built and he holds it over her head.

Invited my besties parents for Christmas and didn't provide food or drinks and decided they where going to the sisters house (my besties cousin) and would cook there. It was apparently very weird and unwelcoming.

They are just pretty awful, self centred people.

I don't want to cause issues for my bestie or her other family though.

Anyway, CPS or no? Should I tell bestie of I do?

Gonna get judged ik

I know I’m gonna get judged but I let both my kids 7months and 10year old watch tv my 7month old watches faith based stuff on minno or educational videos we as kids watched tv and are fine my daughter and son are both very very advanced

Hey if anyone has an good recommendation for shows comment them to please

What are you guys doing for mother's Day?

I'm just gonna preface this by saying I like my MIL but only in small doses. So basically my FIL invited up over to their place and asked that my husband and him grill for us. I understand that this day is about all mother's but I really don't feel like spending my mother's day stuck talking to my mil. If my husband is grilling than I have no buffer and that means I'm taking care of our daughter the whole time. My husband turns into a kid at his parents place and basically after eating just naps on the couch leaving me to handle my 16 month old and his mom by myself. Not to mention he has never really cared about "celebrating his mom" he really just wants to grill with his dad. Which I get, they don't spend much time together but this day is supposed to celebrate me too. Not to mention I'm pregnant and am struggling to eat meat..... So am I selfish for wanting to say no to going over there?