Low Sex Drive/Neurodivergence/Mental Health

I’m 33. I have an almost 4 year old son. He is our only child, and we are not planing to have anymore children. I have always had a low sex drive, although it’s currently it’s at an all time low. I take Sertraline for OCD anxiety/depression and the combined oral contraceptive pill. Recently, my sex drive has been getting worse. Life is full and busy, and I have to take Sertraline for my mental health. It’s the only thing that keeps my OCD at bay, and I’ve tried reducing it to help my sex drive but the OCD thoughts are unbearable when I lower it. I find maybe Sertraline/the pill lowers my sex drive potentially? Are there any strategies to increase sex drive/desire? I find a few glasses of wine before intimacy seems to help, as I seem to also have anxiety with sex and relaxing, but once I get into it, i’m fine. I work part-time, tired and have a busy life and Dyspraxia, so find things more fatiguing than usual. I can go months without sex, but of course, it’s not exactly normal and my husband gets frustrated and it is becoming an issue. I’ve spoken to my husband and i’ve told him I’m aware of it and that it’s not about him. I told him I don’t want to make it an issue and to improve things in that sense. I love my husband and want our relationship to remain good. Does anyone have any experience of this/advice/suggestions to help increase sex drive? I’d really appreciate the help. Thanks in advance.

in our community

IF HE PULLS OUT

And finishes on you, does he…

Looking for besties

I’m Brentney I’m married and I’m 30 yrs old. Im from Kansas. I’m a mom of 4 i have a 10 yr old, 6 yr old, a 4 yr old and a 5 month old. I work from home while we homeschool our kids. In my free time i like to read and go thrifting.

Ngl I need friends

Lmao sounds funny but I do need to find my group of friends. Don’t judge please 😭. It’s hard finding that since we moved over here. If anyone wants to do hangout/play date. Don’t hesitate to text me.

Feeling guilty about having me time

Anyone else feel the most awful guilt for having some “you” time for themselves? Im talking simple things like a bath alone or bigger like a weekend away/leaving the kiddos.

Im desperate for some me time but it makes me feel so guilty I ruin it for myself

Mother's Day 😬

Ladies, hypothetically speaking. If your partner gets you the same exact gift as his mother how are we feeling about that?

Also, how are you spending Mother's Day? Do you feel obligated to spend time with your mother in law or is a text and quick stop by enough (30min. Tops)?

Sex with no lights on

When me and my partner got together 5 years ago, lights would always be on the only times they weren’t was the way we would both wake up middle of the night and have spontaneous sex. Any other time, he would never turn the lights off.

Since having my little one 3 years ago, I noticed he would keep the lights off more when having sex. So often we’d get into bed, so lights would be off and then one of us would initiate. I asked him about it and he said he didn’t realise how much the lights were off and that he loves my body and I’m not the problem. He said he would try to remember to keep the light on(his bedside one as I didn’t have one at the time).

It ended up happening again and often late last year and now this year. Even tonight he went to the toilet, I got into bed naked to surprise him(I wanted to give him really good sex and be confident as I admit I do sometimes lack confidence with some sexual acts and I’m trying to work on it). And he was like oooo you’re naked, went round to his side of the bed and switched the lamp off. I was like why? I wanted you to see and I thought you would want to see all of me too? He just said “I don’t know”, switched the light back on and got into bed. Then started touching me and that.

But I had totally kinda switched off. My brain wasn’t with it fully because I was focused on that detail. I over worry a lot and I’m trying to work on that too. But this is the only recurring issue. I hate the lights being off, I love to see him and I want him to feel the same way about me but I don’t think he does anymore otherwise why does this keep happening?

And yeah about my weight I’m overweight, but the thing is I’m trying not to push myself into the darkness again as when I was younger I was overweight, got bullied, ended up starving myself and exercising until I was sick and fainting. I had a real bad relationship with food and no one knew. I’m trying to lose weight healthily but it isn’t budging, no matter what I try. Smaller portions, exercise, no treats, healthy meals etc… He also tells me I don’t need to lose weight and he loves me as I am but why wouldn’t he show that in his actions and not just words?

I then question everything like if he’s not focused on me, is he thinking about something else? Like it makes me feel all kinds of ways and I said I want the truth even if he thinks it’ll hurt me because it’s better to know and he still says he loves my body. So I’m confused. Am I letting my my past consume me? Should I trust my partner let it go and try to lose weight a healthy way?