Baby just will not settle when awake and husbands struggling

Just offloading a little, please don’t judge 🥲

My LG is 4 weeks old

I’m finding our baby quite fussy during awake times at the moment and I’m starting to find it emotionally draining at times.

My partner has been struggling since baby arrived and I genuinely think he may be experiencing some paternal postnatal depression/anxiety triggered by the constant crying and stress. It’s really upsetting seeing someone you love struggle, especially when this is our rainbow baby and something we both wanted so deeply.

he works, feeds, does a night feed while I pump, and is a really loving, hands on dad and supportive partner. We’ve been communicating really openly about how we’re both feeling and coping and he isn’t doing great at the moment

I think what I’m finding hardest is feeling like I need to keep everyone happy

Baby doesn’t annoy me when crying but it is over stimulating and I do feel I’m coping overall, but I get frustrated with myself when I can’t soothe her or when I can see my partner getting overwhelmed and I can’t fix that either. I feel I have a pressure to make it better because I have a magical wand (boob) Sometimes I end up taking over because boob usually settles her, but today nothing seemed to work and it all felt a bit much emotionally.

We went out for lunch and as soon as we sat down baby just screamed the place down and wouldn’t settle for anything and had basically been like it all day since. She has had a 2.5 hr nap since 12:30 but that’s it. She’s finally fallen asleep on me now after many attempts at getting her to sleep and failing to stay asleep longer than 5 mins, we had tried everything, she’s had a bottle, nappy change, cuddles, dark room, play distractions, white noise, massage and belly rubs, lots of upright trying to burp however nothing is helping. She’s has done a few farts and I can hear her belly making some noise sometimes.

I think I may aswell take her upstairs and handle her being fuss alone because I’d rather be stressed than be both of us be stressed have a crying baby and a upset partner as I’d rather him just care for me and the house at this time if that makes sense?

I’m trying to be patient with both him and myself while also finding some balance so neither of us burns out

Has anyone else experienced something similar with the newborn stage or with their partner struggling emotionally after baby arrived?

I haven’t had that wave on emotion people talk about after birth but I am starting to get a little tearful tonight I only got 4hrs last night but I did nap for 1.5-2 ish hrs this afternoon

in our community

Am I a d-head for not giving my sister and brother in law all my baby things?

I’m looking like such a bad person here but anyways my partners brother and his wife just had their second baby (a boy this time) after having a baby girl 12 months ago. We had our first babies together they were born a week apart (I had a boy). Everything they brought for their first was gender neutral except clothes and despite them knowing they was pregnant they decided to throw/give away everything. Space wasn’t the issue as my in laws would’ve stored it for them until baby was here. So now they asked for the clothes my sons grown out of which I was happy to give to them but now they are also asking for my car seat, bouncer, Moses basket, next to me, baby carrier, playmat and so much more but I’ve stored those away for a future baby and they are quiet expensive ones I’ve got even though I was struggling and still am with money I saved and invested in good quality products so I can use them again for a second baby. My mil and fil are trying to pressure me to give them up and no one’s offering money except for the car seat they said they’ll pay £20 for I paid £230😬 they’re all making me seem like this horrible person whose selfish even though it’s my partner who they are asking and he said no

Top teeth coming out?!

What do you reckon?

useless partner

I’m here to rant and if anyone can relate. my bf is useless he does not do anything, when my daughter cries she does not settle with him because he has never comforted her or taken care of her. I have sleep less nights and still have to do everything round the house, he does one thing which is clean the bottles he even complains about sterilising them and doesn’t do it. he thinks he has it worse because he has to get up at 5 in the morning for work yet i wake up every 2 and a half hours because she wakes up (4months btw). he says all i have to do is feed and change her and put her to bed and that’s it. I have had so many conversations about it with him and he’s always turned it into arguments because he thinks he is saying he’s a bad dad. i have never left her with him for longer than 20 minutes (while i shower) because he doesn’t know how to look after her and what she needs it is ridiculous!! i need help what do i do or can anyone relate???

Money

Hello ladies x

I just wanted to ask the mums that don’t pay parts of the bill/rent, and your partner pays everything. Does it feel like a weight off your shoulders?

I wish i had this and honestly been feeling so down about having to pay parts of the bills and some how during the month my husband says he has no money so its more on me to pay for things… but he goes out with his friends a lot but swears he doesnt spend money.

I just want to imagine my life being a bit more privilaged 😅

What kind of tv shows (that are appropriate to watch with your toddler) do y'all look at when you're tired of the baby shows??

The days I get burnt out on his stuff, I need to find more appropriate adult shows.

Husband swearing in front of child

My husband and I are from two very different backgrounds, in his childhood swearing was used just as part of everyday language by his mum,brothers etc. my husband having met me and seeing I don’t like swearing or use it in my language has definitely toned it down however when he is angry usually if someone cuts him off driving or if he drops something in the house etc he still swears and I’ve asked him time and time again not to in front of out two year old. He continues to do it and while I recognise he is trying hard it just doesn’t seem good enough to me. What do I do?